lucky enough to be feeling very relaxed at the moment, despite life crashing down on me and potentially having to stay living in a terrible situation for another 4 years i somehow just feel numb. as of right now, i know my time is not nearing any time soon considering i'm braving through these circumstances rather nonchalantly but i can't help but feel sympathetic for this body if i ever did make the final decision and ruining what was once bordering "flawless".
mentally i don't know how salvageable i am, but physically i am totally healthy. sure with arfid and staying confined indoors 24/7 i have low iron, low vitamin D and terrible eating habits, i'm very weak and not the best in weight but nonetheless this is a healthy body. i've never broken a bone nor been diseased and as far as i know i'm not at risk. i feel like i'm the one slowly destroying it with those permanent scars and stress giving me dark circles. it could have been something, someone so much better if someone else could just take it over for me. there are much better people out there that deserve a healthy vessel. i'm so sorry for my selfishness and i'm sorry if this is an . odd take . just something that's been eating away at me and deterring me.
mentally i don't know how salvageable i am, but physically i am totally healthy. sure with arfid and staying confined indoors 24/7 i have low iron, low vitamin D and terrible eating habits, i'm very weak and not the best in weight but nonetheless this is a healthy body. i've never broken a bone nor been diseased and as far as i know i'm not at risk. i feel like i'm the one slowly destroying it with those permanent scars and stress giving me dark circles. it could have been something, someone so much better if someone else could just take it over for me. there are much better people out there that deserve a healthy vessel. i'm so sorry for my selfishness and i'm sorry if this is an . odd take . just something that's been eating away at me and deterring me.
