Venting I miss him so much

[LevUwU]

I miss my friend so damn badly. He was all I had, he was all that made me feel loved or happy anymore.

I'm just too much of a stupid fucking bitch to just settle down. No. I had to be a big emotional mess all the time and lose him because I was too much.

He meant so damn much to me and I squandered it again. Again. Never any friends for Lev, no no, she's too much of a hassle for people to deal with her emotional instability and constant volatility.

I'm going to be alone forever, both in terms of friends and boyfriends. Aren't I.

 

[botanist_dude]

Don't be so hard on yourself. Our brains sometimes are just fucked. That's it. And it is difficult for other people to understand that unfortunately. You deserve love and understanding, and you will find that again.

 

[StalkedByDeath]

You can learn to control your volatility, though it may be hard and you might never be 100% "normal". I've been in your shoes, and while I can't say I'm not volatile anymore, I am much better off now on that front compared to a-few-years-ago me. I never thought I would get married, yet here I am. It hasn't been easy, but we are together 5 years later. There is hope, even if you don't see it right now. Dialectical Behavior Therapy could be of huge help.