I might ctb sooner than planned

[depressedlover]

Initially I had some to do things before but it seems they're hard to accomplish and i really can't continue living in this pain,Tbh i miss my fiancé so much,i'm experiencing emotions i can't control,i just want to join him as soon as possible.Imagine having everything you want for your method ready but then somethings are still holding you back.Not uncertainty to ctb ,not love of life,not fear of death not even family but the need of honoring your loved one before death.
Which brings my question,is it worth holding off my plan even though i'm hurting until i get someone to deliver the flowers and candles to his grave or should i just ctb without fulfilling my wish because we'll soon be together anyway?
Today i almost started my SN Stat impulsively because i was overwhelmed by all these emotions.Please advise,talk to me,i don't even know what i want from you mbrs because you're the only ones i can talk to,no friends, and the only one person who listened ,cared ,loved and was there for me is already dead.I'm sorry for burdening and bothering you with my struggles.I'm gonna explode if i don't share with you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that after all only you know when the time is right for you to leave, nobody is obligated to continue existing and it's a completely personal decision what to do. But anyway I wish you the best, it sounds really painful what you've been through, life certainly is so unnecessarily cruel.

 

[Kittzuni]

I know you probably don't want to hear this but in the end it is your decision, so only you know what's best for your own peace of mind. I personally would try to wait until then but I understand where you are coming from.

Just keep in mind that your decision is final and you should therefore not make one unless you are certain about it.

Also if you want someone to talk to until then, I'm here for you.

 

[Letgo]

I am sorry you hurt so much. You are being thought of.
I agree with Kittzuni, you are the only one that knows when the time is right, since it will be a final decision.
Pls don't rush anything. The most important thing is to have peace of mind whatever you choose to do.

 

[depressedlover]

Thanks for your response,your points are valid and treasured no matter my decision to exit this cruel world after what happened to me shortly after the above post.I have decided to do it tomorrow,at midnight,Just wish me luck.

 

[Letgo]

Best wishes to you. Send you big hugs. Will be thinking of you.