Venting I lost the life I had ahead of me

[claeasi]

I don't know if it's just me, but have you ever seen a video of someone with friends, doing really well in life and thought "wow, I wish I had that life, what if I tried?" But then you remember how miserable your life is, and no matter how hard you try, the feeling of deep sadness will always come back to haunt you, the feeling of feeling less feminine because of the scars you have on your fucking arm, I hate this feeling AAAAAAAA

 

[Hystearical]

Every time I step outside. Hence why I try to minimize that.

 

[silentcicada]

I try not to use social media anymore because of that. Heartbreaking envy.

 

[FireFox]

I don't know if it's just me, but have you ever seen a video of someone with friends, doing really well in life and thought "wow, I wish I had that life, what if I tried?" But then you remember how miserable your life is, and no matter how hard you try, the feeling of deep sadness will always come back to haunt you, the feeling of feeling less feminine because of the scars you have on your fucking arm, I hate this feeling AAAAAAAA

@ioogyuu Images can be very very deceiving and don't always give the full story. Let me explain

Last year I went visting my parents home country ( African country) and I got so many photos of me being happy while visiting places and doing family fun stuff. I went on a safari trip, went star gazing at night time and I went to so many markets.

Many people they thought my life was cool because I am a great at telling animated stories of my travels but In every single photo I took of me smiling and having fun I was NEVER actually happy because my family relatives are horrible people. My relatives are the worst relatives anyone can have. Everyone in the family is a user and are cruel to those who help them in need, they are emotionally and psychologically abusive. They get away with everything because of " Christian forgiveness" and religious guilt tripping and toxic aspects of the culture which place family loyalty above everything.

I loved covid19 pandemic travel restrictions because it was 2 years of pure peace and freedom never seeing these relatives again and I never wanted it to end. Last year January when I was forced to see my relatives again my depression came back full force. At airport it was New Years day and I was so upset this is how i am spending new years day travelling to seeing these awful relatives

I try not to use social media anymore because of that. Heartbreaking envy.

@silentcicada Social media is so deceptive because pictures and posts don't always reveal the full story about someone's life.

● I have a relative who was always posting on social media her expensive clothes and car she drove around. It later came out this relative obtained her materialistic lifestyle by stealing from her workplace. She got fired for stealing.

● In the UK on social media there is a young mixed race working class barrister who posted about her career as a successful family and criminal lawyer however in real life people in the law profession constantly looked down upon her for being a mixed race working class woman who made it into the elite profession as a barrister. UK has a big issue with class snobbery and with working class people entering professions and spaces traditionally for the privileged

She ended up moving to the US and now pratices as a qualified New York attorney. USA has a larger black and mixed race community which can be appealing for someone like her and America has better opportunities in terms of jobs. In the UK the black and mixed race community is very small