Venting I lost my gun and now I'm losing my mind

[Shiksa]

A few nights ago I used way more than I should've and my family found me in their house totally wrecked with my handgun that I usually hide. Thankfully they didn't send me off somewhere but now I feel lost. For the longest I thought I had an exit strategy figured out but now I have nothing. I know there's other ways and I'm still trying to think up other options but I feel so backwards. I should've gone through with it when I had the chance. I'm so fucking dumb.

 

[TAW122]

Yeah I was in a similar situation a few years ago, and ever since then I've just been biding my time to gain access again. Since I live with family, it is hard to find the right times, but I think this year might be the golden bus ticket for me. I know that once time and circumstance aligns, I'm pretty much ready to just check out and be done with this shitty existence.