I lived thru snorting 15 oxy

[Lungz]

Update for my last post, I'm alive.
Around 30 mins after I ingested half a script of seroquel and snorted 15 fake oxycodone, my dad broke into my locked room to check on me and found me unconscious choking on my puke. It doesn't make any fucking sense that it happened this way, because at the time he did this, I am usually asleep. He hasn't broken in my room like this to check on me like, ever? He had no idea I was suicidal, or what I was planning.Just some sort of weird intuition iguess.
We had been fighting really bad for around two weeks prior. He was avoiding me at all cost and every time I left my room he would yell at me to find somewhere to go or to stay out of the kitchen.
He carried me out of the house and drove me to the hospital while I was limp and choking on my vomit.
I don't remember snorting the oxy, when I woke up from icu the nurses told me what was in my system and I was so fucking taken aback that I was found and survived. I was in icu on a ventilator for 3 days and for 2 of those days they didn't know if I would make it.

The comments I got telling me I'd probably just end up with brain damage were unfortunately correct lol. I have no sensation in the back of my head, consistent headache since I woke up from the coma and I feel somewhat disoriented.

I've never been a spiritual person, but I somehow feel like I'm meant to be here now. Still suicidal, but the way things played out just don't make any sense to me.
When I woke up my dad was talking about how my grandma was acting weird and crying about how god saved me and she smelled roses in the room when they found out I was gonna make it. Which is super fucking weird because my first conscious thought when I woke up was "why does it smell like roses in here, this feels religious" then for the next week, all I could smel was the bile sitting in the bottom of my lungs.

But ya I lied to the drs and said I was just tryna get high, so I was only hospitalized for a week to treat my pneumonia.
Enrolled myself in therapy and somewhat working on my situation/trauma now.

Idk I can't really communicate the experience well over text, but it sure was strange.

Oh yeah I was severely malnourished when the drs did screenings on me, because my dad was bullying me and starving me basically. I think his weird ass gf and drugs just kinda got in his head so he started treating me like shit, now he's sucking up to me and trying to make things ok,but it all feels fake

I don't need family now, I needed it the last 5 years after the loss of my mom.
Same with his gf man like, she's trying to talk to me now after not even making eye contact with me my entire life and only talking to me to make shitty comments, it's so uncomfortable.

 

[Cathy Ames]

WOW! Thank you for the update. I hope that your neurological type issues will subside over time. Good luck with the therapy.

 

[bed]

gosh, sounds like a very traumatic experience. I'm glad you didn't have to be forced into a psych ward.
hopefully, your neuro condition gets better with time, it's still very new and the body is very resilient. I'm glad to also hear you have some hope in trying to exhaust more options and better your life. There are many types of therapies so if you find this one isn't helping, possibly another one can.
Also really sorry to hear about your dad's lack of care towards you and him being abusive. In regards to being malnourished if you struggle with eating you can take a lot of supplements to help as well as meal replacements.
good luck! hopefully, you can get a better support system in place. <3

 

[emgrl]

I wonder if you were making some noise that you were unaware of that made your Dad come and check on you?

Sorry you're in some pain now, and that your family still doesn't seem like any relief for you.

I wish you nothing but peace ♡

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you had to go through a failed attempt. It sounds really awful what you went through, failing ctb is what I fear. I wish you relief from suffering.

 

[Idkaho2]

Update for my last post, I'm alive.
Around 30 mins after I ingested half a script of seroquel and snorted 15 fake oxycodone, my dad broke into my locked room to check on me and found me unconscious choking on my puke. It doesn't make any fucking sense that it happened this way, because at the time he did this, I am usually asleep. He hasn't broken in my room like this to check on me like, ever? He had no idea I was suicidal, or what I was planning.Just some sort of weird intuition iguess.

You make noise whenever you're unconscious and puking. Puking is loud. That's probably why.

 

[makethepainstop]

Update for my last post, I'm alive.
Around 30 mins after I ingested half a script of seroquel and snorted 15 fake oxycodone, my dad broke into my locked room to check on me and found me unconscious choking on my puke. It doesn't make any fucking sense that it happened this way, because at the time he did this, I am usually asleep. He hasn't broken in my room like this to check on me like, ever? He had no idea I was suicidal, or what I was planning.Just some sort of weird intuition iguess.
We had been fighting really bad for around two weeks prior. He was avoiding me at all cost and every time I left my room he would yell at me to find somewhere to go or to stay out of the kitchen.
He carried me out of the house and drove me to the hospital while I was limp and choking on my vomit.
I don't remember snorting the oxy, when I woke up from icu the nurses told me what was in my system and I was so fucking taken aback that I was found and survived. I was in icu on a ventilator for 3 days and for 2 of those days they didn't know if I would make it.

The comments I got telling me I'd probably just end up with brain damage were unfortunately correct lol. I have no sensation in the back of my head, consistent headache since I woke up from the coma and I feel somewhat disoriented.

I've never been a spiritual person, but I somehow feel like I'm meant to be here now. Still suicidal, but the way things played out just don't make any sense to me.
When I woke up my dad was talking about how my grandma was acting weird and crying about how god saved me and she smelled roses in the room when they found out I was gonna make it. Which is super fucking weird because my first conscious thought when I woke up was "why does it smell like roses in here, this feels religious" then for the next week, all I could smel was the bile sitting in the bottom of my lungs.

But ya I lied to the drs and said I was just tryna get high, so I was only hospitalized for a week to treat my pneumonia.
Enrolled myself in therapy and somewhat working on my situation/trauma now.

Idk I can't really communicate the experience well over text, but it sure was strange.

Oh yeah I was severely malnourished when the drs did screenings on me, because my dad was bullying me and starving me basically. I think his weird ass gf and drugs just kinda got in his head so he started treating me like shit, now he's sucking up to me and trying to make things ok,but it all feels fake

I don't need family now, I needed it the last 5 years after the loss of my mom.
Same with his gf man like, she's trying to talk to me now after not even making eye contact with me my entire life and only talking to me to make shitty comments, it's so uncomfortable.

Oh dude! Your one of those souls I wish I could spend time with. I'd start by giving you a five minute hug. Then I'd sit beside you and ask you to talk to me about it. Some times people around us are thick skinned as alligators when they are hurt or insulted. And they from ignorance, think we too are thick skinned as they are. They just simply don't feel as strongly or as deeply as we do. Thus they cannot understand our pain. I'll share one I remember from when I was about seven years old. My redneck uncle says to me, "Your where you belong in the kitchen with the women!" That one still hurts me. (I'm almost sixty three). I guess there are just people like that.

 

[Lungz]

You make noise whenever you're unconscious and puking. Puking is loud. That's probably why.

No he said he didn't hear anything