Venting i know my best friend will ctb one day and im too scared to come to terms with it

[waqs]

i have this online friend, one of my only real friends in this world and he plans on killing himself. he's already talked about buying sn to me, hes even offered us to commit together. i wish i could accept is his offer but im just not in a situation that can allow me to die. im so scared for when that day comes, i know he will and theres nothing i can do about it besides be there for him. i know its selfish to want him to not because i know hes suffering, but i dont want to be truly alone again. i dont want to exist in a world where im not by his side, i dont even know how to come to terms with this future. i want to beg him not to, beg him to please try and find the help he needs but i dont want him to burden himself by living just because im selfish. i dont know what to do, all i feel is dread, counting down the days until get his final goodbye.

 

[piercedwounds]

I hope U and ur friend find peace eventually :c
I can understand not wanting to be alone. All U can do is spend as much time w him as possible. much love ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

 

[J&L383]

You have your friend until you won't have him anymore. Use this time while you have it. Cherish it. It will hurt, once he's gone.

 

[Minjas]

I was in your situation 3 years ago. It's like having a chronically ill friend on the brick of death. The thought about a world without them pains you to an extent but talking them out of finding the peace they long for feels selfish, so you're stuck in between. All you can do is be there for him, show him what it feels like to be cared for, wanted, loved. In the end maybe you succeed in changing his mind to stay a little longer with you, or you can live with the fact that you made his last few weeks/months worth living and you did what you could. It's a win in both scenarios. I am sure he's grateful having you as a friend. What about if he didn't meet you! He would die thinking he's a burden to this world.
I remember when I tried to talk my friend out of it, I used to do it so many times knowing that he's suffering but wanting to prevent my own pain of losing him…Now I regret not being by his side the way I was supposed to, to focus on him feeling cared for rather than talking him out if it all the time, because he would do it either way and unfortunately the pain is unavoidable.
Imagine that he has leukemia, that he has been sick for years, going through countless painful therapy sessions and his body shutting down. Because that's what depression is, you don't choose death because of a minor inconvenience, but because being alive is unbearable. I suppose most of users on this website know what I'n talking about.
Now that your friend has leukemia, he's kept alive by machines, with the possibility of being kept alive for a long time but in agony. Would you not rather accept letting him go?
Sending hugs

 

[selfishmachine]

losing a friend is really the worst...