sunnydaysahead
August (he/him)
- Feb 6, 2023
- 22
Hello again, I really doubt any of you remember me, that's alright (I didn't post a lot.)
My last attempt, I guess in February of 2023, got me sent to the psych ward. It wasn't even that good. I got yelled at by my grandparents really bad, they don't get it and don't want to get it. But here's a general life update.
-I may learn how to drive soon, so that means I can get out of this hell faster. Nobody believes I can drive, they express doubts I can. If I can't drive that means I can't move out, and that means almost certain death for me (by my own hand.)
-I am autistic, but considered "high-functioning." I already knew this, but I feel like I'm becoming more aware of it the more I try to get the hell out of my grandparent's home. I feel not very capable at all. I have to be able to move out, it's either that or death, literally.
-My grandparents aren't abusive or neglectful, but they are homophobic and transphobic and they will not let me transition. I know I am transgender, I've known for nearly 3 years. I know what I need to do, but there's not a damn thing I can do about it right now.
-What I'm trying to say is that I know things will get better for me when I move out, I can start Testosterone and begin transitioning and hopefully that'll make my life slightly less terrible. But everyone around me doubts I can move out, or even drive. Like I said, I know what most of my problem is, but I can't do anything about it.
I know it may sound like I'm banking on me transitioning helping me a lot, but I know what I am, and what'll help me. There's been little things along the way, bits of affirmation, that proves that this is the right path for me. It won't make me not mentally ill, but it will help me. I don't want to wait even 2 more years to move out; it has to be soon. I've been waiting all my life, I don't know if I can wait any longer. I don't know. Any of you guys have any tips or anything? Thanks.
My last attempt, I guess in February of 2023, got me sent to the psych ward. It wasn't even that good. I got yelled at by my grandparents really bad, they don't get it and don't want to get it. But here's a general life update.
-I may learn how to drive soon, so that means I can get out of this hell faster. Nobody believes I can drive, they express doubts I can. If I can't drive that means I can't move out, and that means almost certain death for me (by my own hand.)
-I am autistic, but considered "high-functioning." I already knew this, but I feel like I'm becoming more aware of it the more I try to get the hell out of my grandparent's home. I feel not very capable at all. I have to be able to move out, it's either that or death, literally.
-My grandparents aren't abusive or neglectful, but they are homophobic and transphobic and they will not let me transition. I know I am transgender, I've known for nearly 3 years. I know what I need to do, but there's not a damn thing I can do about it right now.
-What I'm trying to say is that I know things will get better for me when I move out, I can start Testosterone and begin transitioning and hopefully that'll make my life slightly less terrible. But everyone around me doubts I can move out, or even drive. Like I said, I know what most of my problem is, but I can't do anything about it.
I know it may sound like I'm banking on me transitioning helping me a lot, but I know what I am, and what'll help me. There's been little things along the way, bits of affirmation, that proves that this is the right path for me. It won't make me not mentally ill, but it will help me. I don't want to wait even 2 more years to move out; it has to be soon. I've been waiting all my life, I don't know if I can wait any longer. I don't know. Any of you guys have any tips or anything? Thanks.
