I know I have to do it, and I want to do it. It’s just hard sometimes.

[Tyra]

There's just so many things to think about. Like the CTB process and what's going to happen after to the people I'm leaving behind.

 

[shun75x]

You wanna talk?

 

[Tyra]

You wanna talk?

There's no point.

 

[shun75x]

There's no point.

well, you are posting here for a reason, right?

 

[walsun]

Yeah i feel the same more so.
Intellectually i know there's no getting better, but survival instinct is a bitch.
I'm taking ambiguous steps towards ctb-ing and i'm hoping the benzos will kick in when it's time to do the deed.

 

[Tyra]

well, you are posting here for a reason, right?

To feel less alone with CTB. And to get any advice.

Messaging people is a horrible feeling. Always waiting for them to reply… never feeling actually wanted… I could go on. Same thing goes for any kind of friendship.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Yeah I feel the same (I think). I don't want to but there's no other way forward, so it's the only way to put an end to this.