i just want to end this comedy

[damned]

well, if comeone can help me to leave?
it seem only lethal injection of high toxic chemical poison will kill me. the most imnportant,something to stop my brain first
am i wrong that i want to die because i can't accept this awefull "reality"
am i stupid to thing death will free me or do worse?
well, this reality, it's just an illusion.

 

[Insomniac]

am i stupid to thing death will free me or do worse?
well, this reality, it's just an illusion.

I don't believe in eternal peace after death or before life, however, I understand understand how you feel.

I'm in the process of killing myself but life taught me to never hope for lasting peace for it never comes.

The so called peace before life was interrupted by life and by birth. So I wonder why people expect death to be an uninterrupted state of peace or nothingness. One answer: wishful thinking.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I'm in the process of killing myself but life taught me to never hope for lasting peace for it never comes.

The so called peace before life was interrupted by life and by birth. So I wonder why people expect death to be an uninterrupted state of peace or nothingness. One answer: wishful thinking.

Lmfao, what? You're arguing against your own position.

 

[fox_wannabe]

well, if someone can help me to leave?
it seem only lethal injection of high toxic chemical poison will kill me. the most important, something to stop my brain first
am i wrong that i want to die because i can't accept this awful "reality"
am i stupid to thing death will free me or do worse?
well, this reality, it's just an illusion.

nobody here can help you I am afraid.

there are plenty of methods, this one you mentioned sounds painful, i heard lethal injections are like lava in veins, burning and painful

 

[Ch92921]

Why do you want a such cruel suicide?

 

[damned]

nobody here can help you I am afraid.

there are plenty of methods, this one you mentioned sounds painful, i heard lethal injections are like lava in veins, burning and painful

well stupid enough of me, i have a rope ready, but i don't know where to go to handmyself this most be the most less painfull method and the aphysia with trash bag and rope around my neck.but god is tricky enough. so my body too. the goal is to find something that could end without missing.
do you know when you come back here you bring back some piece of problem with you, like the way you died in your past life?

Why do you want a such cruel suicide?

well maybe i have'nt explain well my intention.i just broswe the net about chemical and poison.
this will not take only lethal injection if i can't put a hand of numbutal.
i have 2 receipe i got in dark web to make suicide pill(potassium scyanide) and numbutal(which the chimical is very hars to obtain(2) )
and the receipe is worse writen that a recipe in a cook book.
there is a good way with suicide pill.making. you can direct breathing the deadly toxic vapor and it's very fast but after my dead
i may risk other life as i'm on in a house and i don't have somewhere suited to do that.
with all the horror a saw and i know anger and vengance lead to nothing as i don't want to waste my time,
as i've seen enought, life have no more meaning for me here.
i won't risk other poeple life no way.

 

[fox_wannabe]

back here you bring back some piece of problem with you, like the way you died in your past life?

Why would I come back here? This place is trash. There are plenty of resources on this site, just do not expect partial to work, it is unreliable.

 

[damned]

Why would I come back here? This place is trash. There are plenty of resources on this site, just do not expect partial to work, it is unreliable.

i have realised something one night and it's 100% true in my case
dead is not only for ending suffering,not stop the madness as we all want to believe (as me)
you must see dead as a transistion to ask to achieve goal that you can't here because your life and destiny is somewhat full of restriction
as you understand a level of understanding greater what's going on ,on the planet,what you understood enough you are ready to shift through dying
dying is not negative nor positive, it's a sort of transition and continuity to continue what you want to do to reach a goal
life as we life this way been manipulated by the society and in this time when chaos is about to engulf all
is some point i need to be brave to pass through the prison of réality to continue.
dying is not the end, and it will not put you problem away. this is not a "end"
(not for me)
i have realised that we are liying to the poeple before too long.the normal life have no place,no sense and we are not born here to be sheep and play jokers of clowneries.
i wanted to do a couple of post to make you understand what i saw. but it's not me, i have help from a lost spirit that can't transition and stuck here cause he spend 2 life suffering and seeing horor and evil poeple of when you thinking of that inhuman poeple,you may have difficulty to breath,and it's like to want to vomit all inside your heart.
i can forgot some bad poeple,but evil poeple won't have my mercy

 

[fox_wannabe]

i have realised something one night and it's 100% true in my case
dead is not only for ending suffering,not stop the madness as we all want to believe (as me)
you must see dead as a transistion to ask to achieve goal that you can't here because your life and destiny is somewhat full of restriction
as you understand a level of understanding greater what's going on ,on the planet,what you understood enough you are ready to shift through dying
dying is not negative nor positive, it's a sort of transition and continuity to continue what you want to do to reach a goal
life as we life this way been manipulated by the society and in this time when chaos is about to engulf all
is some point i need to be brave to pass through the prison of réality to continue.
dying is not the end, and it will not put you problem away. this is not a "end"
(not for me)
i have realised that we are liying to the poeple before too long.the normal life have no place,no sense and we are not born here to be sheep and play jokers of clowneries.
i wanted to do a couple of post to make you understand what i saw. but it's not me, i have help from a lost spirit that can't transition and stuck here cause he spend 2 life suffering and seeing horor and evil poeple of when you thinking of that inhuman poeple,you may have difficulty to breath,and it's like to want to vomit all inside your heart.
i can forgot some bad poeple,but evil poeple won't have my mercy

I understand a lot. Please tell me what you saw. I will listen, but be careful cause I know what people see is not what they think they see.

 

[Insomniac]

Lmfao, what? You're arguing against your own position.

didn't know it was possible to say anything without contradicting oneself, genius.

 

[FuneralCry]

In a life as horrible as this, I see wanting to die as being perfectly rational. For me suicide is the only thing that makes sense. If I ctb it will prevent decades of suffering. I think once we die, we are at peace and free from all suffering as there is nothing. Once we lose consciousness, that is it for us. I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[mlha]

The so called peace before life was interrupted by life and by birth. So I wonder why people expect death to be an uninterrupted state of peace or nothingness.

If there were multiple abrubt interruptions, then why do you know about the only one today, wouldn't it be more probable that you've experienced more of them already?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

didn't know it was possible to say anything without contradicting oneself, genius.

I am so confused, you win this one.

 

[Insomniac]

If there were multiple abrubt interruptions, then why do you know about the only one today, wouldn't it be more probable that you've experienced more of them already?

I assume you don't remember the day you were born. Does it mean it (your birth) more likely didn't happen?

 

[mlha]

I assume you don't remember the day you were born. Does it mean it (your birth) more likely didn't happen?

I don't remember the day my body was born, because I didn't exist yet; however, I was born much later and I have a memory from that moment.

 

[damned]

Why do you want a such cruel suicide?

not cruel, fast and reliable

I understand a lot. Please tell me what you saw. I will listen, but be careful cause I know what people see is not what they think they see.

it depand, it's a sort of hazard of circonstance.there was a spirit haunted me at least 5 month.most everyday.
but as you know,lost soul spirit are not bad as all poeple believe.they need to be free.i think i was the guy to help him free him. but i have sufering a very long time not understanding what happened to me.with time,this spirit show me some things about the world as i know.it can only use what's in my memory,ability and knowledge.but dealing with a spirit like that bring you to show you that there is not only one concrete reality as it is stuck between two plan, and i saw briefely that plan of existence.we my knowledge of kabalistic science and most of other spiritual and psyhic science.i know long before that there is rule and law in this space.and the most important,one rule that make the world exist.it's the game of passing trough darkness to light. negative and positive.it's the first principle of present and movement of all existing thing that live here.but as this spirit stuck here show me there is no total dark or total white.
but we live is a discusting society and lie to us about many generation and decade. cause this spirit have sufering enough to see lies,betrayal,deorder,injustice,and such..
not in this first past life,but in the second ancient life,his life was a misery and faced evil poeple without able to do anything.
as far i a know for now for what i know about this spirit. but he show me and make me understand what many poeple don't know or realize about the world
i was hoping to post the day(saturday) when that was the worse feeling and experience i have been trough. it's so awefull, that in all my difficulty on the past this sunday at 3.am, i tought i had reached a point of no return cause i had enough.no light was shining in my futur.
i had drinked some 3 can of alcool and something subtil stop me to end my life, when i woke up.i have make peace with this spirit.
the spirit was my grandfather.....
well, i know for a long time i remeber only some fraction of my past life when i was 4 years old.
i grew up in irish land. and when to london.
i knew someone there,in my past life, and this is my brother in this life
i when in my genealogic tree. the grand mother of my father have irish root.
i did'nt investigate much on this cause the information in this kind of things it's very difficult to find. and i have only few image and feeeling about my past life
i have bring something here with me coming from my past life.
i believe soemthing awefull happened but i don't know what, i only feeled it when i was 4 years old as my mother never understood why i was reacting like that.
i have feared some image that make no sense for my mother to understand and even me. but now i know.
i could see a good seer to help me backtrack what have happened, maybe i could find why i'm here.
but for now,i believe there is a something to set and repair trough my family. and i'm very limited.
but all i live here, i feel like i'm tied and helpless and i'm alone with that.
this is why i want to die.and not only this reason

 

[Insomniac]

I don't remember the day my body was born, because I didn't exist yet; however, I was born much later and I have a memory from that moment.

so you didn't exist prior to your sense of self awareness. Is that your point?

I surrender.

 

[mlha]

so you didn't exist prior to your sense of self awareness. Is that your point?

I surrender.

I mean that self-awareness is basically me, right? I concede there's ego death (which I haven't experienced) when one is aware, but not self-aware so it's not that clear-cut.