I just realized I’m shallow and I want to kill myself because of this.

[Realityisawful]

So, I'm attracted to conventionally beautiful women. That doesn't mean 10/10 supermodel, but there's a certain threshold/cutoff. Problem is, I'm an incredibly unattractive man, mainly because of my height (5'1). Due to this, I am forced to lower my standards looks-wise significantly if I want a relationship. I've tried doing this in the past, and I failed. Something always felt missing, even if I was attracted to their personality. I needed to have the relative package. I would see women who I was attracted to and thought, "I can find an attractive person who has inner beauty as well." I still felt incredibly lonely and felt like my needs weren't being met.

All my life, I viewed it like this: looks get your foot in the door, personality is what sells. But after more reflection, I realized this is incredibly shallow. I realized that even if you don't view women as only objects, even if you don't feel entitled to certain women, you can still be shallow. It doesn't matter if personality and human connection matters to me most of all - because I care about looks, I'm shallow. It's a spectrum, and I'm on it. And I want to kill myself because of it. This is the thing that is pushing me way over the edge, and why I'm ordering Pentobarbital and finally catching the bus.

 

[TooLate2582]

While I have my own body issues, I choose to embrace them. I may not offer much help, but as someone of lesser height, have you considered making up for it elsewhere? Sure you may be 5'1", but having a ripped body and becoming a sexual tyrannosaurus may take some of the sting out.

Some of the goofiest dudes I know seem to land the best girls. ‍

I have a pretty bad eating disorder yet I maintain physical fitness and use what people tell me and what they see (what is way different from what I see) to make up for my horrible personality and BPD.

Just some musings.

 

[Severen]

Meh, that's just human nature. Who the hell wants to be around someone he or she sees as ugly all the time? Nobody. We all want the most beautiful person as our boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife... Because nature is fucking shallow. Your animal side, takes over your brain and tells you to have offspring with people who have superior genes because this will increase the chances of your offspring surviving in this world... And tells you that if you get with someone who doesn't meet a certain standard, your offspring is going to struggle for survival and probably die. Your animal side, is only concerned about passing on your DNA until humanity becomes extinct. Your animal side is basically a fucking virus. But there's more to life than fucking and relationships and all that shit. See if you can discover a side of you that can enjoy life without being on such a low level of existence... Worst case, scenario, make a decent amount of money and go to strip clubs or hire escorts etc to get your fix...

 

[Realityisawful]

See if you can discover a side of you that can enjoy life without being on such a low level of existence... Worst case, scenario, make a decent amount of money and go to strip clubs or hire escorts etc to get your fix...

I don't have the right personality for this, and a relationship with someone who loves me for who I am, rather than merely sex, was what I wanted.

 

[Roger]

Some of the goofiest dudes I know seem to land the best girls. ‍

I did.
And I was married to her for 51 years.

 

[Soul]

I'm sorry you're feeling so disappointed in yourself. If I'm following you right, your unconscious preferences are not in line with your conscious ideals, and the dissonance is so great that you can't live with it?

 

[Xena]

For whats it worth, I know great, attractive women who are shorter than you. Meaning, they're out there.

 

[Realityisawful]

For whats it worth, I know great, attractive women who are shorter than you. Meaning, they're out there.

I rarely run into women shorter than my height, and one thing that happens frequently is that short women would like a guy at least 3 inches taller than them. That limits my dating pool to 4'10 and below, and that pool gets smaller factoring in attractiveness, and most importantly, her personality, how compatible we are. Theoretically, that's a really small pool.

 

[jake3d]

Well, i've had women issues for the longest time, then turned into a really big player... then fucked my life up completely due to small things that mounted on each other and led to a big honkin' irreversible health fuckup... anyway.

If your only problem is insecurity re: attracting women, i'd check out three courses. One would be Pandora's Box by Vin DiCarlo, i still know most of the stuff in there by heart. Second would be The Tao of Badass by Brian Burke. Third would be The Girlfriend Activation System... forgot who wrote that one. Have fun!

 

[Xena]

I rarely run into women shorter than my height, and one thing that happens frequently is that short women would like a guy at least 3 inches taller than them. That limits my dating pool to 4'10 and below, and that pool gets smaller factoring in attractiveness, and most importantly, her personality, how compatible we are. Theoretically, that's a really small pool.

Hey, I hear you. But consider this
Prince was 5'2". So is Kevin Hart.
And Tom Cruise is shorter than all his famous exes (at 5' 7")
Im just sayin

 

[throwaway123]

To be honest a normal looking women is good enough for me. You might be attracted to a 10/10 women on the first date but after that you get to know her and her personality either attracts you or repulses you. Personality matters in the end.
Unfourtnately I'm not even normal looking( due to bad gentics and terrible doctors) so there's no chance for me. This is the one thing that fucked me up the most. Social anxiety and other feelings of worthlessness,mental illness etc... I even thought about plastic surgery but it's too expensive and risky. I don't care about being attractive.
All I want is to look normal.

 

[Realityisawful]

Hey, I hear you. But consider this
Prince was 5'2". So is Kevin Hart.
And Tom Cruise is shorter than all his famous exes (at 5' 7")
Im just sayin

I don't think it's realistic to compare your situation to a celebrity. They have such high status, it's easier for people to be exposed to them, not just in those elite social circles but through movies and other media. For a normal short guy it's a drastically different ball game.

 

[not_a_robot]

lol.
Ok I hate to keep being "that guy" but fuckit, I will.

In the space between
I Am Shallow
and
I Deserve To Die For Being Shallow
there exists a thing called
Trying To Be Less Shallow.

Maybe consider it.

 

[Realityisawful]

You might be attracted to a 10/10 women on the first date but after that you get to know her and her personality either attracts you or repulses you. Personality matters in the end.

Yeah, that's what I think, but without physical attraction, I just see someone as a friend.

lol.
Ok I hate to keep being "that guy" but fuckit, I will.

In the space between
I Am Shallow
and
I Deserve To Die For Being Shallow
there exists a thing called
Trying To Be Less Shallow.

Maybe consider it.

Again, I've tried this, and it's really hard. I do deserve to die for being shallow.

 

[not_a_robot]

Well, i've had women issues for the longest time, then turned into a really big player... then fucked my life up completely due to small things that mounted on each other and led to a big honkin' irreversible health fuckup... anyway.

If your only problem is insecurity re: attracting women, i'd check out three courses. One would be Pandora's Box by Vin DiCarlo, i still know most of the stuff in there by heart. Second would be The Tao of Badass by Brian Burke. Third would be The Girlfriend Activation System... forgot who wrote that one. Have fun!

Oh right, there's also this option.
Become So Shallow You Cease To Be Human.

 

[jake3d]

Nah, it's more like despite being a player, i left a part of me with each lady i've been with, i can't be indifferent. If anything, i fucked up because of committing to a relationship despite family troubles instead of keeping up the fun and games. As long as i never bothered to care about money or tomorrow, my life was going pretty damn great!

 

[Jolene40]

So, I'm attracted to conventionally beautiful women. That doesn't mean 10/10 supermodel, but there's a certain threshold/cutoff. Problem is, I'm an incredibly unattractive man, mainly because of my height (5'1). Due to this, I am forced to lower my standards looks-wise significantly if I want a relationship. I've tried doing this in the past, and I failed. Something always felt missing, even if I was attracted to their personality. I needed to have the relative package. I would see women who I was attracted to and thought, "I can find an attractive person who has inner beauty as well." I still felt incredibly lonely and felt like my needs weren't being met.

All my life, I viewed it like this: looks get your foot in the door, personality is what sells. But after more reflection, I realized this is incredibly shallow. I realized that even if you don't view women as only objects, even if you don't feel entitled to certain women, you can still be shallow. It doesn't matter if personality and human connection matters to me most of all - because I care about looks, I'm shallow. It's a spectrum, and I'm on it. And I want to kill myself because of it. This is the thing that is pushing me way over the edge, and why I'm ordering Pentobarbital and finally catching the bus.

I have seen plenty of unattractive men with attractive women. If that's what you like that's what you like. I'm guessing you've tried multiple times and failed with women you're attracted to?

 

[Soul]

I'm still not sure what the heart of the problem is. Is it that you perceive yourself as shallow, or that you feel unlikely to successfully pursue women you're attracted to? If the latter, is there a particular woman you're failing to get close to, or are we theorizing?

Comparing onself to celebrities is indeed not on, except that before they were celebrities, Prince and Kevin and Tom were ordinary short guys. Then they made themselves remarkable.

If you feel shallow ... can you not deepen yourself? Sponsor a child in a 3rd world country. Volunteer at an animal shelter or a hospice. Write love ballads and perform them on a streetcorner. Register people to vote. And then date whomever you want.

I'm truly trying to understand.

 

[Realityisawful]

I'm still not sure what the heart of the problem is. Is it that you perceive yourself as shallow, or that you feel unlikely to successfully pursue women you're attracted to?

I feel like it's both.

 

[tren]

You can always be a sugary daddy and raise your value that way

 

[GeorgeJL]

So, I'm attracted to conventionally beautiful women. That doesn't mean 10/10 supermodel, but there's a certain threshold/cutoff. Problem is, I'm an incredibly unattractive man, mainly because of my height (5'1). Due to this, I am forced to lower my standards looks-wise significantly if I want a relationship. I've tried doing this in the past, and I failed. Something always felt missing, even if I was attracted to their personality. I needed to have the relative package. I would see women who I was attracted to and thought, "I can find an attractive person who has inner beauty as well." I still felt incredibly lonely and felt like my needs weren't being met.

All my life, I viewed it like this: looks get your foot in the door, personality is what sells. But after more reflection, I realized this is incredibly shallow. I realized that even if you don't view women as only objects, even if you don't feel entitled to certain women, you can still be shallow. It doesn't matter if personality and human connection matters to me most of all - because I care about looks, I'm shallow. It's a spectrum, and I'm on it. And I want to kill myself because of it. This is the thing that is pushing me way over the edge, and why I'm ordering Pentobarbital and finally catching the bus.

Yes that is a very shallow reason to CTB. I think there is hope for you.

There is two routes you can go.

1. Look up seduction and PUA type material and work on your game. Work on you. Work on self development finding out who you are and what your talents are and what you have to offer women and lastly what you want in a women.

2. Go international. There are many beautiful women overseas that will marry men 10 - 15 years older than they are. For them looks are not that important. Dream Connections is the perfect place to meet such women. This is the most reputable company that hooks up American men with foreign women. They filter the men to make sure they are good for a relationship or marriage. And they filter the women to make sure that they are not scammers, and are ready for a relationship or marriage.

Those are your main options as far as relationships go. I don't think you should commit suicide. And I rarely say that on this forum. Even though I am pro-choice when it comes to suicide I also think it should be a last ditch effort to save ones dignity. Don't trivialize our cause.

The other options I recommend are psychedelics, self authoring program, medication.

 

[Nutcase]

Well take comfort in the fact you're more reasonable than me, I'd like a 10/10 woman who worships me as a god where I have to put no effort into maintaining the relationship, but sadly I won't be getting that any time soon

 

[DepressionsAHo]

Jay z's ugly ass got Beyonce
There's hope for you buddy

 

[LifeIsNotFun]

Jay z's ugly ass got Beyonce
There's hope for you buddy

Well, that's because he has money. Just the other day it was shown he is a billionaire now.

 

[Severen]

Well, that's because he has money. Just the other day it was shown he is a billionaire now.

He's also talented and well dressed.

 

[Realityisawful]

Yeah, I'm killing myself. I'm also autistic which severely complicates things. Can't compensate for being a short man due to my ingrained social deficits. I'm literally trapped in hell!

 

[GameIsSkewed]

Yeah, I'm killing myself. I'm also autistic which severely complicates things. Can't compensate for being a short man due to my ingrained social deficits. I'm literally trapped in hell!

I'm in the similar boat, man. I support your decision. If you wan't to escape the hell that's being imposed on you and you can't solve it, in my eyes it makes sense.

 

[Realityisawful]

I'm in the similar boat, man. I support your decision. If you wan't to escape the hell that's being imposed on you and you can't solve it, in my eyes it makes sense.

Naturally.

 

[Severen]

Money, talent and being well dressed can compensate for being ugly. I've seen a lot of guys in my life, pull this off. Of course, these guys wont be able to compete with the handsome men who have money, talent and are well dressed. But my point is, simply being ugly doesn't mean you are doomed when it comes to attracting people.

 

[Realityisawful]

Money, talent and being well dressed can compensate for being ugly. I've seen a lot of guys in my life, pull this off. Of course, these guys wont be able to compete with the handsome men who have money, talent and are well dressed. But my point is, simply being ugly doesn't mean you are doomed when it comes to attracting people.

Well, if you can't compete with the more attractive men, then that means you're more likely to settle for a less attractive woman, hm?