Venting i just ordered sn and im feeling kinda scared

[ilovecats1]

not because of the act but im scared because i fear i will be found out. i dont have much privacy. i live with my sister and its a small house, i do have a room but like i have a niece also and she just barges into every room always and im never truly alone. i also hate how much both my sisters care about me as i see them every day i dont deserve to be cared about like this.i bought it from a chemical store here as sn isnt that well known here i guess its still sold everywhere easily so it will arrive in a few days. most drugs are otc here including the anti-emetics i need so it will be easy to get.

on an unrelated note i visited my friend at the ward yesterday and my sisters are kinda weird about ANYTHING effecting me and i feel if they found out it would just be reduced to that one visit which was honestly good for me and i hate when they reach to conclusions like that. i dont want any attention but to just go in peace when the time comes.

 

[ilovecats1]

i didnt expect it to get shipped this early lol wtf. i think i will have it by tomorrow or by monday

 

[hdead]

i didnt expect it to get shipped this early lol wtf. i think i will have it by tomorrow or by monday

At least that means less time to be anxious and paranoid!

 

[ilovecats1]

At least that means less time to be anxious and paranoid!

i guess so. i hope i dont get caught

 

[ilovecats1]

today was the last day i could get it but i got so stressed thinking about getting caught i couldnt. i will probably try again some time later and i hope they dont crack down on sn in my country. im also kinda indecisive about ctb because sometimes my mind isnt that horrible but when it is i just get so angry at myself for being this cowardly.