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Lawliet

Lawliet

b a n g
Sep 15, 2020
357
i know there are quite a few threads about this so i apologize for the redundancy in advance.

so, as the title says i ordered my SN. i'm very nervous because i accidentally put my old phone number and the wrong email handle, so i messaged the company and explained the errors very calmly and used my absolute best punctuation and grammar, haha. i'm also nervous because i live with family, ive never had them go through any packages for me but i'm a paranoid person.

also, i had a fight with my mom who i'm normally very close to. i'm physically and psychologically disabled, soo have to rely on her a lot. i won't go into what it was about, but it's left me feeling really shitty and also emboldened. i am so tired of being in pain 24/7 and watching myself deteriorate in all aspects.

also, my two year SS anniversary is coming up on the 15th. i might make a separate post for that, i might not. i've had several attempts in my life and with each passing one, i have more regret. here's to hoping this upcoming one will be my last. i do intend on making a goodbye thread when i'm going to do it.

thank you for reading.
 
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jodes2

jodes2

Hello people ❤️
Aug 28, 2022
7,736
What was the fight with your mum about if you don't mind me asking? Im glad you'll be writing a goodbye thread but it will be sad to see you go. Happy anniversary in advance
 
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thebunny

thebunny

be what they fear.
Aug 19, 2022
227
i hope your SN arrives safe and sound to you and that your family won't get suspicious on the day you're receiving it. i'm sorry to hear about the fight you've had. family can sometimes be draining. i also hope that you'd find peace soon. i'll make sure to read your goodbye thread once it's up. wishing you well and sending lots of hugs!
 
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G

gimzero

Student
Aug 15, 2022
148
Sn want a plan and its not easy to make ctb even if you are alone.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,248
I'm sorry that you suffer. Life is just too unfair and it's awful how our bodies are capable of torturing us so much with health problems. I understand why you would be nervous ordering SN, planning to die can be so unnecessarily difficult and complicated but I hope that things go the way that you want them to.
 
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Lawliet

Lawliet

b a n g
Sep 15, 2020
357
What was the fight with your mum about if you don't mind me asking? Im glad you'll be writing a goodbye thread but it will be sad to see you go. Happy anniversary in advance
it was about a bad childhood. and thank you
i hope your SN arrives safe and sound to you and that your family won't get suspicious on the day you're receiving it. i'm sorry to hear about the fight you've had. family can sometimes be draining. i also hope that you'd find peace soon. i'll make sure to read your goodbye thread once it's up. wishing you well and sending lots of hugs!
thank you so much, i really appreciate it
I'm sorry that you suffer. Life is just too unfair and it's awful how our bodies are capable of torturing us so much with health problems. I understand why you would be nervous ordering SN, planning to die can be so unnecessarily difficult and complicated but I hope that things go the way that you want them to.
thank you, me too. and hey, i see you around here a lot and you're always so kind and insightful. i hope that you're able to find peace, whatever that might entail. <3
 
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Littlewittlelight

Littlewittlelight

Specialist
Sep 3, 2022
347
Sorry I can relate I am getting disabled mentally too and when I get rude to my mom I am really close to her I feel although I don't share enough but she just keeps following me so i feel so bad sometimes.
I did order today too and I can relate I also wrote my store address which would get me surely cause troubles but then I cancelled soon I saw it hopefully and did the same now awaiting it. It is supposed to reach me next week.
i know there are quite a few threads about this so i apologize for the redundancy in advance.

so, as the title says i ordered my SN. i'm very nervous because i accidentally put my old phone number and the wrong email handle, so i messaged the company and explained the errors very calmly and used my absolute best punctuation and grammar, haha. i'm also nervous because i live with family, ive never had them go through any packages for me but i'm a paranoid person.

also, i had a fight with my mom who i'm normally very close to. i'm physically and psychologically disabled, soo have to rely on her a lot. i won't go into what it was about, but it's left me feeling really shitty and also emboldened. i am so tired of being in pain 24/7 and watching myself deteriorate in all aspects.

also, my two year SS anniversary is coming up on the 15th. i might make a separate post for that, i might not. i've had several attempts in my life and with each passing one, i have more regret. here's to hoping this upcoming one will be my last. i do intend on making a goodbye thread when i'm going to do it.

thank you for reading.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: waitingforrest and Lawliet
F

Funeralprincess

Death never turned on me
May 8, 2022
433
i know there are quite a few threads about this so i apologize for the redundancy in advance.

so, as the title says i ordered my SN. i'm very nervous because i accidentally put my old phone number and the wrong email handle, so i messaged the company and explained the errors very calmly and used my absolute best punctuation and grammar, haha. i'm also nervous because i live with family, ive never had them go through any packages for me but i'm a paranoid person.

also, i had a fight with my mom who i'm normally very close to. i'm physically and psychologically disabled, soo have to rely on her a lot. i won't go into what it was about, but it's left me feeling really shitty and also emboldened. i am so tired of being in pain 24/7 and watching myself deteriorate in all aspects.

also, my two year SS anniversary is coming up on the 15th. i might make a separate post for that, i might not. i've had several attempts in my life and with each passing one, i have more regret. here's to hoping this upcoming one will be my last. i do intend on making a goodbye thread when i'm going to do it.

thank you for reading.
I totally understand having failed attempts and deepening regret. That's why I'm now going with N and hopefully that doesn't fail me. I hope you find peace in your decision and I'm sorry your life has been so hard
 
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Lawliet

Lawliet

b a n g
Sep 15, 2020
357
Sorry I can relate I am getting disabled mentally too and when I get rude to my mom I am really close to her I feel although I don't share enough but she just keeps following me so i feel so bad sometimes.
I did order today too and I can relate I also wrote my store address which would get me surely cause troubles but then I cancelled soon I saw it hopefully and did the same now awaiting it. It is supposed to reach me next week.
i'm so sorry that you're in the sesame situation, it can be so rough when you fight with your caretaker. despite our fight, i'm sure that she will take my death the hardest out of anyone. but i feel like such a parasite, i'm better off gone and others will benefit from my departure as well.
I totally understand having failed attempts and deepening regret. That's why I'm now going with N and hopefully that doesn't fail me. I hope you find peace in your decision and I'm sorry your life has been so hard
n sounds amazing,i hope you find peace as well. also. i love your username!!
 
Littlewittlelight

Littlewittlelight

Specialist
Sep 3, 2022
347
i'm so sorry that you're in the sesame situation, it can be so rough when you fight with your caretaker. despite our fight, i'm sure that she will take my death the hardest out of anyone. but i feel like such a parasite, i'm better off gone and others will benefit from my departure as well.

n sounds amazing,i hope you find peace as well. also. i love your username!!
My situation isn't too bad but I feel I am close and she will hurt the most here too if I did anything like that. I burden her a lot. I couldn't even make her proud once it's really okay if we are unable to we have problems life isn't fair sometimes and so mean to some people. I am sorry that it's so hard for you. That's one of the hardest thing to deal that you are dealing with you feel you burden them I already feel that I can really feel for you because it's really hard we as humans are taught to be independent but sometimes life is unfair and because of what we are taught we tell ourselves we are being a burden on people. We really could be but please look around I am also in somewhat same situation if not totally. I hope whatever happens it happens for best.
 
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reverse03

reverse03

Departing. Goodbye
Sep 11, 2022
153
Can you please provide where did you ordered your SN? I am from Canada and looking for it desperately.
 
reverse03

reverse03

Departing. Goodbye
Sep 11, 2022
153
group rules state that we cannot share sources, i put that in the post
I believe we can share sources via pm. But I am new account so I need to be active to get some pm.
 
Lawliet

Lawliet

b a n g
Sep 15, 2020
357
I believe we can share sources via pm. But I am new account so I need to be active to get some pm.
activity definitely benefits you, but people can tell if you're being disingenuous. reaction score plays a part, too. when you leave good comments, please will react. also, your profile is locked down so folks can't message you. you can change this in your settings.
 
  • Love
Reactions: literallydonee
The Abyss

The Abyss

Why're we still here, just to suffer?
Dec 19, 2019
260
The physical pain you feel, do doctors not give you meds to fight it? I find they're reluctant to give out good stuff due to "addiction" yet sufferers ctb in the end due to the pain.

Don't fix the car as it'll break down anyway but then it breaks down prematurely due to lack of maintenance.
 
Lawliet

Lawliet

b a n g
Sep 15, 2020
357
The physical pain you feel, do doctors not give you meds to fight it? I find they're reluctant to give out good stuff due to "addiction" yet sufferers ctb in the end due to the pain.

Don't fix the car as it'll break down anyway but then it breaks down prematurely due to lack of maintenance.
i've been fortunate enough to have access to several medications and i even tried clinical ketamine, but none of them work. no one can find the cause for my pain and it has been this way for over two years
ot
i've been fortunate enough to have access to several medications and i even tried clinical ketamine, but none of them work. no one can find the cause for my pain and it has been this way for over two years
it's head pain, too, so it greatly affects all of my cognitive functions. i'm sensitive to light, sound, and smell and i can't get out of the house because of it
 
P

PainAndSadness

Student
Sep 21, 2022
123
When do you plan to do it and are you going to use Stan's method?
 

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