Discussion I just literally wish I died in some accident

[fkyou]

I just literally wish I died in some accident -those you hear on the news- rather than this sad scenario.which is suicide because of being mentally ill which people look at as "mentally retarded" .so much unnecessary self esteem,dignity I've lost ,so much unnecessary guilt lived just to die in the end "a shameful death".tell me what's the difference between me and someone who died in an accident? The latter lived with respect till their last moments,that is not sad, i guess the ugliest part of suffering is the journey not the consequence.someone dying in an accident isn't sad,it happens in a moment,the dead person didn't "suffer" to their last moments.they were alive fine and now theyre dead.it's not good news but at least it's not sad,now someone who lived mentally challenged for a long period of time experienced hits to their self esteem, dignity,shame,guilt, while trying to get their social duties (study,work)done ,is sad.left with lots of self hate and regret.
Sorry guys.im not one to think like this but sometimes your self esteem gets a hit.

 

[Droso]

You don't need to apologize. I imagine a lot of people feel the exact same way. I've been stewing in jealousy over people who get to die in accidents. Most of them didn't want to die. It's unfair. Why can't suicidal people get to die like that? Why do people who are happy with their life have to die like that? It's all just random chance unfortunately. But it still feels unfair.

 

[astonishedturnip]

You don't need to apologize. I imagine a lot of people feel the exact same way. I've been stewing in jealousy over people who get to die in accidents. Most of them didn't want to die. It's unfair. Why can't suicidal people get to die like that? Why do people who are happy with their life have to die like that? It's all just random chance unfortunately. But it still feels unfair.

This is what gets me the most. I know of people who have died in accidents or from illness and they were so unlike me -- full of life and plans, great jobs, a big circle of friends, a spouse and kids. Good people who wanted to live and thrive and who (likely) never had suicidal thoughts.

I hate when someone sees an incident like that and goes "Wish that happened to me!" For me it's more, "Wish that happened to me instead." Because they should still be here. I would have happily taken their place. An old friend from high school died from a simple fall in the shower last summer and left behind two kids under 5. Someone I read about in the paper got a heart infection and died just two weeks before her wedding. Why, just why? This shithole existence is so damn unfair.

 

[Afterglow]

me too. hundreds of people die each day in car accidents, and a lot of them are good people, I wish it was me.

 

[xoxo24]

I feel the exact same way, i want to die in some sort of shooting where i get shot in the head so its instant or die by protecting someone so im not so useless lol, but i can only fantasize

 

[Halfhourdays]

No shame. Nothing to explain to friends/family. No pain. Dying by accident.

... my daydreams are getting weird.

 

[s00ngone]

Somehow, imagining dying via accident makes me sadder and causes more fear than ctbing. Taking the control out of it makes it feel more like capital-d Death. What that says about my resolve to ctb, I can't say.

 

[Outofoptions1]

I wish I had a terminal illness. That way, I'd be able to qualify for medically assisted suicide here in Canada.

It'd be the perfect scenario; I get to die a painless death, family and friends don't have the guilt of it being a suicide and its on my own terms.

 

[BeijaFlor]

first of, fuck the news

and fuck what anybody else will think

this is about you

and you only

please, try to understand

 

[lialnhell]

same. i've been in 4 accidents including the 1from last night im fucking tired