i just dont want to be here

[manic]

i hate living so badly, everything is so empty and painful. i cant think about living for a few years or even the next few months. feeling nothing and being dead sounds more pleasurable.

 

[ElVato]

When we are depressed, its as if you had a pair of very dark sunglasses on. Not only does everything look dark, but you inevitably focus on the darkest parts, which in turn, worsens your depression and disenchantment with life. It's a loop. Well, more like a downward spiral. You get the point.

I don't know your situation, of course, but I would really urge you to exhaust all the options of treatment that you can: try different therapists/psychiatrists, request a change in prescription, explore new therapies. Some people also find a small light when they explore their spirituality.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as I also just really wish to be gone, non-existence is all that's desirable to me personally, all I hope for is to never suffer in this existence ever again, I also find it painful to exist, I wish I could just cease existing in peace and forget about it all. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find the freedom you search for.