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insectontrial

insectontrial

Student
Jan 29, 2026
131
I had too much to drink last night, and ended up trying to jump into the river right by where I live. I was physically stopped by three people who were on a break from their shift at the local supermarket.

This is not my preferred CTB method (my plan involves FSH and medication to try and inhibit SI). I have a strong dislike of cold water due to my autism, so this was incredibly impulsive. I did not attempt to jump from a bridge (this is important context because they're a special interest of mine due to my autism and I feel it's as though my brain wanted to protect that), but rather I started climbing a barrier along the waterfront and was pulled down.

I plan to stop drinking now - this was already on the cards because when I stop drinking I'll stop going out to socialise as much and then I'll be a bit more isolated when I do act on my actual, carefully planned-out CTB method - but the disinhibition genuinely scared me, considering I normally take a very calm and logical approach around the topic of suicide.
 
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