I hope today's the last day.

[a4001]

I've got a vague plan. I have some rope and a railway bridge I'd like to FSH from. It's not too thick but Im like 145lb so I think it'll work. It's maybe the same thickness as bungee cord just not stretchy. I can't handle this world anymore. I relapsed the second I got out of my mental hospital and I feel so insanely bad about it I just want to die. There's nothing else that can help with it. I'll probably chicken out like all my other attempts because I'm such a fucking coward but I hope this one works.
Upd: a friend talked me out of it I might not go just yet. Maybe just wait one more day.