Venting I hope luck finds me before death does

[scary]

I can't remember a single good thing that's ever happened to me. Every time when I think I'm having an okay day there is always something that happens, whether it be a bad inconvenience or things that traumatize me for life. I've never been lucky, that's never been in the cards for me, I think that I'll try and maybe do something with my life besides just laying in bed all day but then I'm hit with a bunch of terrible things that are out of my control. Why even bother doing anything if the universe is just going to spit in my face.

I'd say that I experienced luck only one time. Finding that orange kitten who was all alone in his pen at the shelter was the best thing that ever happened to me. He kept me sane during the hell that was attending online school during the pandemic and ended up being the most attached to me out of everyone in my family for the 7 years that we had him. Flash forward years later and the world decides to rip him away from me in one of the most sudden and violent ways I can think of. It was only January.

This year after that has been a complete nightmare and it's only going to get worse, I can feel it. They say bad things happen when you have a bad attitude about it but how could I not just be hopeless at this point? I've been beaten down too many times and frankly I'm not even completely upset. I'm used to it, I should be used to it. If I had a method I know it won't even work on me, why should it? If I had a gun in my hands right now and pulled the trigger I wouldn't end up dead, I'd just end up a vegetable.

I'd say that I'd wish the world would just put me in some sort of scenario that would kill me.. but that'd just be good luck for me, wouldn't it?

 

[thefirstluminary]

I do feel the same way, sometimes the universe and the entire world is against me but deep down I still have that little hope that god is never unfair to his people which is kinda true if you think of it you might no be religious you might not believe in god you might no believe in fairness or karma but I'm sure someday things will get better for you I wish you all best in your life ♥♥

 

[Jadeith]

but that'd just be good luck for me, wouldn't it?

I wish you luck. Better than this.

 

[Imausername]

you are only 32 black jack hands way from elon musk. Sometimes its nice to dream about having a different life how you would live what you would buy first. Peoples reactions,