Venting I have to finally confess, I absolutely hate being a mother! I want out!

[Stormy Raine]

My children have put me through more hell than my abuser have! I wish I never had children, they trigger me to want to ctb. Am I the only one that feels like this? I would feel guilty for saying this but I feel safe here. They constantly lie on me and get my name is big mess, I just want to walk away or ctb. I feel so trapped, I'll be so happy when this hell of a life is over. I don't even want a funeral, just donate my body to science! I don't want them to ever have access to visit a grave or site when I'm gone. I already blocked one and the other have a few months until she's 18 but it seems she will never leave!

 

[soonatpeace777888]

You are not the only one who feels this way. Personally, I have resentment towards my mother. BUT, there are many mothers who CORRECTLY have resentment towards their children. All we can do on this forum is take each other at their word. Are your kids the only reason you want to CTB? If so, it may be worth it to hold out until your youngest moves out, at 18 I believe you can kick them out.

 

[glendaaa]

 

[pinkribbonscars]

The pressures pro-natalists and pro-lifers put onto women to breed is so gross. This world is so patriarchal and unfair

 

[Stormy Raine]

You are not the only one who feels this way. Personally, I have resentment towards my mother. BUT, there are many mothers who CORRECTLY have resentment towards their children. All we can do on this forum is take each other at their word. Are your kids the only reason you want to CTB? If so, it may be worth it to hold out until your youngest moves out, at 18 I believe you can kick them out.

My kids and family are 99% of the reason I want to ctb. I would love to experience life on my own and away from them. A call from them a few days a week is ok with me. What I don't like is how they have done much so much to me and I'm constantly forgiving them and having to try to fall back in love with them. I'm saying, I just want to be free and if I keep feeling trapped I'm going to ctb and simply leave in a few months when's she's 18, there's only so much one can take in a lifetime!

 

[Ambivalent1]

I'm glad you said this. Many parents play pretend too well and try to sucker singles into procreating to keep the cycle of misery flowing and flowing.

 

[Stormy Raine]

It's nothing mothers want to ever admit!

 

[SexyIncél]

Mothers have to lie a lot. Probably half frequently have the urge to smash their crying babies on the wall. They're terribly guilty about this, but the fact they generally don't says something positive about them

Bertrand Russell pointed out motherhood's a form of slavery, catering to someone's demands. I'm sure some would take exception to that, but it's a perspective worth considering

 

[pinkribbonscars]

Bertrand Russell pointed out motherhood's a form of slavery, catering to someone's demands. I'm sure some would take exception to that, but it's a perspective worth considering

It's unpaid labor for sure

 

[deomlez]

But if they leave you are free right ?
I m not a too close mother, not calling them, just texting sometimes. I was lax when they were young but over stressed about their security (i was SA by my father). They know i m here (at this time...) if they need and it s all. I love my mom but i m not close neither.
Family is a pain.
Good luck.

 

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

If they don't have the best intentions for you then you have to let go. If you try to help someone and they don't want to fix themselves then you will fall down with them making you more draining. Everyone will have their own point of view even if your the nicest or funniest person. You can't change anyone's perspective on you or fix someone if they don't acknowledge the harm that they are causing. You got this keep going I'm proud of you.

 

[Stormy Raine]

But if they leave you are free right ?
I m not a too close mother, not calling them, just texting sometimes. I was lax when they were young but over stressed about their security (i was SA by my father). They know i m here (at this time...) if they need and it s all. I love my mom but i m not close neither.
Family is a pain.
Good luck.

I'm sorry you had that done to you and how awful it must be to have to live through such a horrible situation. I will feel like a huge weight have been lifted off me and I won't have to keep working and sacrificing for them anymore. I understand as a mother we can't simply give up on our children but I'm suffering miserably and nobody understands. It's either they leave me alone or I'll ctb and be free. I'll make my final decision in 2 weeks.

 

[_Alfarooq_]

My children have put me through more hell than my abuser have! I wish I never had children, they trigger me to want to ctb. Am I the only one that feels like this? I would feel guilty for saying this but I feel safe here. They constantly lie on me and get my name is big mess, I just want to walk away or ctb. I feel so trapped, I'll be so happy when this hell of a life is over. I don't even want a funeral, just donate my body to science! I don't want them to ever have access to visit a grave or site when I'm gone. I already blocked one and the other have a few months until she's 18 but it seems she will never leave!

I will make sure I will never become a father. Children are so disrespectful and disgusting, I have been offended by them all my life, and I have hat it up to here with their stupidity. I can't imagine the torture of having to raise them and face the disrespect for the rest of my life.

 

[Stormy Raine]

I wish I would have made better decisions in my life like you have.

 

[_Alfarooq_]

I wish I would have made better decisions in my life like you have.

I still struggle to make certain decisions, but this mistake I will never fall into.

 

[Euthanza]

This is very sad situation for everyone, but it's reality

 

[Jolene79]

Do you have the means to go away for a while and be non contactable? You could say you are in an area with no signal.

Can I ask if your kids have extra needs ? I feel how stressful it has been for my own mum with all my never ending health issue and stress. So much to deal with. I really understand why people just want to run away sometimes xx no one admits the truth ref parenting in every day conversation

 

[アホペンギン]

You can kick her out once she turns 18, im sorry your children were so cruel to you, i never knew someone's children could resent them so much.. I only know about parents hating their children, not the other way around, im so sorry, i send you my best regards.

 

[Darkover]

here's a facebook group you might be interested in

I Regret Having Children

I Regret Having Children. 60,499 likes · 2,222 talking about this. TO SUBMIT YOUR STORY ANONYMOUSLY: Send us a PRIVATE message with your story. Make sure to leave out any identifying information, and...

www.facebook.com

 

[alonely]

Your feelings are valid OP, but also are children not largely the product of the way they were raised? I don't think children can really be blamed, they didn't choose to come into the world and they didn't choose their environment or upbringing.

I think it feels easy to blame teenagers, but hard to recognize that their behavior as teenagers and the choices they make are a product of what they learned growing up.

I hope you are able to find your peace, however that may come for you, and I hope your children are able to find their way in life as well.

 

[Stormy Raine]

here's a facebook group you might be interested in

I Regret Having Children

I Regret Having Children. 60,499 likes · 2,222 talking about this. TO SUBMIT YOUR STORY ANONYMOUSLY: Send us a PRIVATE message with your story. Make sure to leave out any identifying information, and...

www.facebook.com

Omg I knew there were others. I'll join Facebook just for that group. Thank you

 

[Disappointered]

If this isn't a troll it is truly a revolting thread. Hopefully the neglected and abused children of the world will come back for those who created them to put them out of their misery...on the children's terms.

 

[front of me]

I think your subject is very sensitive, but unfortunately I will not be by your side. Unfortunately, you are the one who gave birth to these children. You had 9 months to think. I do not blame you, but it is a very big responsibility.

 

[Stormy Raine]

Do you have the means to go away for a while and be non contactable? You could say you are in an area with no signal.

Can I ask if your kids have extra needs ? I feel how stressful it has been for my own mum with all my never ending health issue and stress. So much to deal with. I really understand why people just want to run away sometimes xx no one admits the truth ref parenting in every day conversation

I'm sorry I missed your post, I apologize. I can't disappear my daughter needs me, her grandma helps when I need a break. I just lost on this site and try to help others. My kids aren't special needs but definitely have u diagnosed mental health issues. It's just too much sometimes.

I think your subject is very sensitive, but unfortunately I will not be by your side. Unfortunately, you are the one who gave birth to these children. You had 9 months to think. I do not blame you, but it is a very big responsibility.

I don't expect everyone to be with you, I just wanted to vent the day I posted it. I still feel the same, there are good days and bad days, but I do the best I can. But I appreciate your comment. We may not always agree and that's ok

 

[Unattainable666]

You are by far one of the bravest women I have ever known!!! You would be amazed at how many women feel exactly the same way you do. We're "forced" into having kids because it's what we're supposed to do. Screw that. If I had my life to live over kids would never be a part of it. Kudos for your bravery and honesty!!

 

[Stormy Raine]

You are by far one of the bravest women I have ever known!!! You would be amazed at how many women feel exactly the same way you do. We're "forced" into having kids because it's what we're supposed to do. Screw that. If I had my life to live over kids would never be a part of it. Kudos for your bravery and honesty!!

I once told my friend who doesn't have kids how I felt as I was crying and felt so guilty. She suggested YouTube has a whole section of people who feel just like me. I couldn't believe how many videos of mothers who felt just like me! It's unfortunate people can't be honest and say they need help and need a break. Having kids can be wonderful but nobody can guarantee how they will turn out. But thank you, I really appreciate it

 

[edu0z]

My children have put me through more hell than my abuser have! I wish I never had children, they trigger me to want to ctb. Am I the only one that feels like this? I would feel guilty for saying this but I feel safe here. They constantly lie on me and get my name is big mess, I just want to walk away or ctb. I feel so trapped, I'll be so happy when this hell of a life is over. I don't even want a funeral, just donate my body to science! I don't want them to ever have access to visit a grave or site when I'm gone. I already blocked one and the other have a few months until she's 18 but it seems she will never leave!

you were forced to have them?... there are two, right?

 

[brokeandbroken]

Can I ask what the issue is? As someone whose parents don't give about I worry your kids may feel similarly. It's a horrendous feeling.

Like are they especially bad or just kids being kids? It sounds like a bad situation all around. Unless someone is especially problematic like currently on drugs or something... It seems a bit harsh to give them a kick on the ass and a garbage bag of possessions the day they turn 18. You are increasing the chances of them having significant issues throughout their lives. Including winding up here. Have you considered asking for help of some variety?

 

[Stormy Raine]

My children have issues, I have issues but I acknowledge and accept mines. Simply put I was adopted and my adopted mother abused me and my life as a child was horrible, there's no easy way to put it. I spanked my kids less than a handful of times which I don't believe in spanking kids because of my past trauma. They know that and play on it, constantly calling 241-kids when they get mad at me and I hold license that I worked hard for. 241-kids have NEVER found any type of abuse and even complemented their rooms as they have lived what looks like a comfortable life, because I sacrificed and worked my butt off to provide for them. My adopted have been my support and watched them as they got older and I don't think she's ever abused them, they love her, but how do you love someone who hurt your mom? Besides that my youngest daughters father who is so far behind child support, takes no part in my daughters life keeps playing in court filing for custody year after year. I've spent money on attorneys and it's always the same ending, I'm granted custody but he does this I'm assuming to get me to pay support but I can't leave the state and move away for good as I've always dreamed of. It seems my children are mostly the reason I'm here on this site. They keep me in systems and in court then wants me to love them unconditionally, it's hard. My biological mother died but I knew her and I would never do the things to her my kids have done to me, I would love to have 1 more day with her. It's overall a bad situation. I don't want my kids to ever feel how I felt growing up without a mom, but I won't accept their disrespect anymore, I'm tired to the point I'm saying I'll check out permanently! Not to mention my kids got me admitted to psych because all I want to do is die and it's no secret I'm miserable in this life they have made for me. I'm not perfect but I've been there. When will I ever get to be free and happy? I sacrifice and give unconditional love and this is how I'm appreciated? Everyone tells me to walk away, even years ago, but it's easier said then doing. So I'm miserable, I gave up all chances of being happy to be a devoted mother, there are no more sunny days. It's just a bad situation and the grandma ain't no saint, she plays my kids against me but she's the only help I can get. I just don't see things getting better, I'm hopeless. I've attempted ctb so many times I'm ashamed to say. I give up trying. This site is very therapeutic for me, it helps me escape my reality. Sorry so long but hope that clears up some questions

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

phew. i grew up in an era when it was it was acceptable to smack a kid on the ass in public. not a beating or anything like that but kids back then knew to respect their parents. i'm sorry you are going through this.