I have started abusing laxatives again

[FireFox]

Previously I stopped abusing laxatives because my life got better and began to experience real happiness for the first time as things were going so well.

In space of a couple of months it all went wrong . First I was forced to spend a month with my awful arsehole relatives aboard in my parents home country. I hate my mother so much for the booking the trip and not giving me the option of staying at home. It was the worst month of my life. I then fell in love with the wrong man who turned out to be nothing but a coward, two faced lying piece of sh*t and a male Karen who humiliated at work. He has caused me so pain. I was foolish for believing I could have s future with a 55 year old man. I finally got fired last month for performance reasons.

Since then I have been abusing laxatives and I love how numb they make feel from all the pain. Today I collapsed on my living room due to the dehydration from laxative abuse. I loved having no feelings of sadness anymore and no longer caring about anything.

 

[user1912012]

Hopefully this isn't offensive, but don't antidepressants do the same thing?

 

[FireFox]

Hopefully this isn't offensive, but don't antidepressants do the same thing?

@user1912012 actually I do not know because I have never used anti depressants.

The laxatives which I abuse is the over the counter drug called dulcolax. Here is what happens when I abuse laxatives. Dulcolax is a stimulat laxative that takes 6-12 hours to take effect. With these laxatives you end up going to the toliet more than once.

• When I take the laxatives first I get a sharp pain in my stomach and end up going to the toliet. It is so discomforting at first the pain and waiting on a toliet seat for my bowels to release. Once I get bowel moment to defacate naturally it feels so good having all the food and other bodily fluids expelled from my body.

•Afterwards I feel so tired, dizzy and completely out of it. I love how the physical pain dominates the emotional pain in which I am no longer capable of feeling negative feeling and any feeling.

 

[user1912012]

Ah, I see. Antidepressants (at least for me) make me lose nearly all emotion, no pain though.

 

[EndlessNight]

why don't you try alcohol? it's good way to stay numb and less dangerous too

 

[chocolatebar]

This is the saddest thing I've ever read from you... it's impossible not to feel bad about it.

having a glimpse of what it would be to have a life we aimed for, but never had, and then seeing all hopes go away is, indeed one of the worst things that can happen. It's like walking in a long desert, almost dying, then seeing a beautiful oasis, only to realize it's a mirage.

Such moments really make us understand why hope was the last evil in pandora's box, considered the worst of all ones.

It's also sad to see you filled with hate like that, although understandable...

 

[Againstthewind]

OP, just be careful about doing damage to your colon, as someone who has IBD, the colon ain't something you wanna fuck with. Of course, I know you're not going to immediately stop, that's not why I'm saying this, you like the relaxed feeling, I get that. The digestive system can be strained by this and cause you some real uncomfortable sensations and pain.

Just be careful

 

[Shadowlord900]

o___O This is the first time I've ever heard of someone abusing something like laxatives.

...Isn't there something else you find to get pleasure from that will hopefully not only do less damage to your bowels, but to your whole body in general?

 

[LookAway]

@user1912012 actually I do not know because I have never used anti depressants.

The laxatives which I abuse is the over the counter drug called dulcolax. Here is what happens when I abuse laxatives. Dulcolax is a stimulat laxative that takes 6-12 hours to take effect. With these laxatives you end up going to the toliet more than once.

• When I take the laxatives first I get a sharp pain in my stomach and end up going to the toliet. It is so discomforting at first the pain and waiting on a toliet seat for my bowels to release. Once I get bowel moment to defacate naturally it feels so good having all the food and other bodily fluids expelled from my body.

•Afterwards I feel so tired, dizzy and completely out of it. I love how the physical pain dominates the emotional pain in which I am no longer capable of feeling negative feeling and any feeling.

Dude I took dulcolax a few weeks ago and I was on the toilet for damn near 18 hours it hurt so bad to get off the toilet. I'm really sorry you're going through this.
Why don't you just try water fasting? Or juicing? Also you can do a Himalayan sea salt flush but I usually wouldn't recommend people doing that.

 

[FireFox]

why don't you try alcohol? it's good way to stay numb and less dangerous too

@EndlessNight I do not like the taste of alcohol.

OP, just be careful about doing damage to your colon, as someone who has IBD, the colon ain't something you wanna fuck with. Of course, I know you're not going to immediately stop, that's not why I'm saying this, you like the relaxed feeling, I get that. The digestive system can be strained by this and cause you some real uncomfortable sensations and pain.

Just be careful

@Againstthewind Thanks for the warning. It is hard to stop because the laxatives I use is so easy to buy in UK pharmacies especially in large quantities. Today I brought to a box of 100 dulcolax laxatives from two different pharmacies and none of the pharmacists questioned me but whenever I buy the 20 nytol pills which is very strong over counter sleeping pills the pharmacists always question me before buying.

Since getting fired I still feel anger, blame and shame over being betrayed by an older woman work colleague friend who I trusted. This woman work colleague is in her late 40s her kids are my age and we got on so well at work as we had common interests.

I was always so good to her and provided assistance with her cases.I was so heart-broken over a male work colleague I fell deeply in love with( he is 55) and wanted someone to be confined in as I was struggling with my attraction to the man as I never fell in love with an older man and the whole situation between the man and myself went so badly wrong. I thought I was safe to share with her as she is mother with kids my age.

The woman was being so nice and comforting towards me. After she promised me she wouldn't say anything to anyone, she went and told the man our private conversation, and they were gossiping about me. I found out from another employee what she had done

Unfortunately in our private conversation I really insulted the man as i was so upset in which I called him an " agesist arsehole" and I told the plan I successfully carried out the man in his dishonesty.

I have never done anything bad to her and have been nothing but good to her and she betrays me. I am so shocked because if I was bad person then I say "I deserved this humiliation"

The man is a male Karen after he discovered my comments he picks up his phone ringing our boss to complain about me and how he scared to be around me at work. The man is tall as fucking sky scrapper, in a higher level job position whereas I am a slim, petite feminine woman and he tells management he is scared of me. Our management believed his lies over me.

The worst thing has been experiencing being humiliated by older people who should know better. I was always respectful and kind to my work colleagues. I blame myself for everything. I was stupid and too trusting.

 

[FireFox]

Dude I took dulcolax a few weeks ago and I was on the toilet for damn near 18 hours it hurt so bad to get off the toilet. I'm really sorry you're going through this.
Why don't you just try water fasting? Or juicing? Also you can do a Himalayan sea salt flush but I usually wouldn't recommend people doing that.

@LookAway Dulcolax is very strong which is why I love it so much. It is so fucked up how easy it is to buy such a strong laxative without a prescription.

I always buy the dulcolax 100 pills box. Whenever I buy these pills none of the pharmacists question me but whenever I buy the 20 nytol pills which is very strong over counter sleeping pills the pharmacists always question me before buying.