i have nothing ahead of me.

[MicahBell]

i've never had a dream or a hope for my future. not once in my life. whenever i become scared now that i'm close to committing i remember, what future could i possibly have?

i always did shitty in school cause i was so sure i'd die before adulthood. i hardly have any life skills but instead of being helped, people think i'm just stupid because at my age you're expected to know how to live. no one ever taught me how to be a person. I don't enjoy anything, i don't have any hobbies. seriously. i'm not particularly good at anything either. i have some family, but they were always emotionally neglectful, theyre not much of a reason to stay alive. they look down on me.

i can't connect with people. i don't know how. when i do, my personality drives them away.

i'm so scared of the pain of dying. i'm so, so scared of living though. even if i asked for help i don't think anyone would listen. no one noticed when i was so depressed i couldnt brush my teeth for months, as a kid when my didn't make a friend for years, when my mom learned i planned to overdose the only question she asked me was "did you ever think of your family?". we never talked about it again.

life is impossible when you're a coward. i'm too scared to live, and too scared to die. i've been crouched so long i forgot how to jump.

 

[r.m.216]

i've never had a dream or a hope for my future. not once in my life. whenever i become scared now that i'm close to committing i remember, what future could i possibly have?

i always did shitty in school cause i was so sure i'd die before adulthood. i hardly have any life skills but instead of being helped, people think i'm just stupid because at my age you're expected to know how to live. no one ever taught me how to be a person. I don't enjoy anything, i don't have any hobbies. seriously. i'm not particularly good at anything either. i have some family, but they were always emotionally neglectful, theyre not much of a reason to stay alive. they look down on me.

i can't connect with people. i don't know how. when i do, my personality drives them away.

i'm so scared of the pain of dying. i'm so, so scared of living though. even if i asked for help i don't think anyone would listen. no one noticed when i was so depressed i couldnt brush my teeth for months, as a kid when my didn't make a friend for years, when my mom learned i planned to overdose the only question she asked me was "did you ever think of your family?". we never talked about it again.

life is impossible when you're a coward. i'm too scared to live, and too scared to die. i've been crouched so long i forgot how to jump.

I can relate
Sorry you're going through this

 

[Zeir Anpin 729]

oh deer

 

[User111885]

sorry things have been so hard.

 

[Vorty30]

I am so sorry! This... It really moved me.

 

[Dying Opportunity]

You are definitely not alone in feeling that way

 

[katara]

I wonder the same thing, I see no future for myself. Nobody is willing to help me. I never finished high school. I have no hobbies as well. I have tried reaching out to people, nothing has gotten better,people will be my friend for a year and then leave, or be my friend for some months, it's just too exhausting. I hate to keep living here with my mom that almost enjoys my suffering or something. I don't have anything positive to say, but if you ever want to chat feel free to message me anytime. I relate a lot to things you said here, so I can tell you have real depression and real pain

 

[chek]

I feel the same. I've had enough but I can't find the easy way to off myself. It's such a risk and I'm a wimp
Thanks for sharing

 

[passedawayinapril]

I don't know what I will do with my life in the future, I have no path in life and my social isolation only brings me down more.