I have made so many mistakes

[brokensea]

I have made so many mistakes.

I thought I was helping people by loving and caring for these heartless people in my life.

All I was doing was trying to validate myself. Make them love me. Change them into what I wanted them to be.

I complain how they've hurt me but I just stood there and took it. I wasn't helping them at all. It was all for me. I should have set them free.

I've made too many mistakes to ever fix and piece by piece of me is gone and now there's nothing and no future.

I have been alone for two years and anything left in me capable of true love is gone. The thought of it makes me physically sick.

I am not attached to anything. I have left the last feelings behind for the last person I felt anything for.

I think when I get back next month from where I'm going I'll finally be able to get SN and I'll have the courage to rest. To be at peace. All my mistakes gone. The lonely life I have ahead of me I dread so much I won't have to worry about any of it anymore. All of this pain will be gone forever. It will be so wonderful to rest. I'm so tired. So unbelievably tired.

 

[makethepainstop]

Yes lonely ness is painful, very painful. This should be feared, more than snake bites or being struck by lightning.

 

[FuneralCry]

Living can be very painful as there is no escape from ourselves, our thoughts and we have to deal with the consequences of our actions. I understand just wanting to rest. The thought of eternal sleep certainly sounds appealing. I wish you freedom.

 

[theboy]

I hope you find peace
my biggest mistake was to be born