Story I have been mentally abused and a punching bag on and off since 2018 and I want out

[Goodgirlryeo101]

This guy has been mentally abusing me on and off since 2018 and has been harassing me and when asked he denies everything. To say I hate this man is even an understatement and him harassing me, cyberstalking me and slandering me and destroying everything in my life makes me feel like I met a devil in life.

I'm tired of being his emotional "punching bag" and tbh his relentless mental abuse and destroying my life is the reason why I want to complete ctb. I just realised that the more I'm alive the more crazy I'm getting because of the amount of psychological damage he has caused me . I regret the day I became "friends" with this monster and even helping him. I get angry at myself more than anything for even allowing him to come to our house when my mum was very much against the idea and she didn't like him.

I hope and pray that I succeed in completing my ctb and if I don't succeed I will keep on and keep on trying. I want out…

My life has been hell on earth and that is even putting it lightly.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

This guy has been mentally abusing me on and off since 2018 and has been harassing me and when asked he denies everything. To say I hate this man is even an understatement and him harassing me, cyberstalking me and slandering me and destroying everything in my life makes me feel like I met a devil in life.

I'm tired of being his emotional "punching bag" and tbh his relentless mental abuse and destroying my life is the reason why I want to complete ctb. I just realised that the more I'm alive the more crazy I'm getting because of the amount of psychological damage he has caused me . I regret the day I became "friends" with this monster and even helping him. I get angry at myself more than anything for even allowing him to come to our house when my mum was very much against the idea and she didn't like him.

I hope and pray that I succeed in completing my ctb and if I don't succeed I will keep on and keep on trying. I want out…

My life has been hell on earth and that is even putting it lightly.

Hello @Goodgirlryeo101,
I'm so sorry that you feel terrible.
I wish I could talk with you one-on-one.
I wish your day would be a bit less unbearable.

But I'm just a stranger.
I wouldn't be a game changer.
What if you were about to CTB in front of me?
I'd be silenced when I think how much you want to be free.

Here you have choice.
And you also have a voice.
If you are comfortable with, please tell us anything,
With your emotions in full swing.


Sorry, I couldn't say anything but this pseudo-poem because your suffering is far beyond my imagination.
To be honest, "feel terrible" might be a gross understatement - it's a pure torture I guess.
Also, if I said anything inappropriate or offensive, please tell me - I'll correct.

Whatever you choose, I wish you the best luck


Edit: @Goodgirlryeo101 I sincerely apologize for offending you. I thought that you had very unpleasant experiences. I didn't mean "you should feel terrible."

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Sorry I didn't understand your poem but thank you for your well wishes.

My dream is to just to cease to exist and I really wish there was a switch button where I would just switch off you know ( like switch off permanently)

Life hasn't been easy and I want out, I don't see myself lasting that long, I have endured this abuse for way too long…. I can tell I'm reaching my near end and I will be at eternal peace.

I'm just mentally exhausted

Ps "feel Terrible " ?? Are you saying that I should feel Terrible?? For what ?? If that's what you meant then no I don't feel terrible because I never made such accusations and also you saying to me if you said anything to me offensive or inappropriate you will correct - Your words means little to nothing to me - that's a fact - I have heard worse than from that "beg a friend" that is slandering my name. He only can get recognised if he is talking about me and nothing else.

That's why he was calling me asking me to meet up for tea like I would rather slit my throat than meet with such a beg. And that's that on that .

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry that you have to go through all this in your life. It's really tiring and exhausting. I wish you all the best adn success with your chosen method!

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

I'm sorry that you have to go through all this in your life. It's really tiring and exhausting. I wish you all the best adn success with your chosen method!

Thank you … my days are numbered …

 

[90starve]

This guy has been mentally abusing me on and off since 2018 and has been harassing me and when asked he denies everything. To say I hate this man is even an understatement and him harassing me, cyberstalking me and slandering me and destroying everything in my life makes me feel like I met a devil in life.

I'm tired of being his emotional "punching bag" and tbh his relentless mental abuse and destroying my life is the reason why I want to complete ctb. I just realised that the more I'm alive the more crazy I'm getting because of the amount of psychological damage he has caused me . I regret the day I became "friends" with this monster and even helping him. I get angry at myself more than anything for even allowing him to come to our house when my mum was very much against the idea and she didn't like him.

I hope and pray that I succeed in completing my ctb and if I don't succeed I will keep on and keep on trying. I want out…

My life has been hell on earth and that is even putting it lightly.

i really connected with this post - reading this is heartbreaking - im so sorry that you have to endure this :(

my ex boyfriend tortured me the exact same way for 2.5 years - the abuse started verbally, then financially, then physically - he slandered my name to everybody who knew me until my reputation became unsalvageable, and broke into my house more than once.

it seemed like it would never end - relentless is the perfect word. the longer it lasted, the more crazy i felt too - and i believe that the abuse is a direct cause for my broken mental state now.

nobody deserves to live in a corner like this. im thinking of you - i hope you can find freedom from this man very soon <3

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

i really connected with this post - reading this is heartbreaking - im so sorry that you have to endure this :(

my ex boyfriend tortured me the exact same way for 2.5 years - the abuse started verbally, then financially, then physically - he slandered my name to everybody who knew me until my reputation became unsalvageable, and broke into my house more than once.

it seemed like it would never end - relentless is the perfect word. the longer it lasted, the more crazy i felt too - and i believe that the abuse is a direct cause for my broken mental state now.

nobody deserves to live in a corner like this. im thinking of you - i hope you can find freedom from this man very soon <3

I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that, yeah I can't see myself ever being "normal" ever again my mental health is at it's worst and there is no amount of medication or therapy that will ever fix this. I truly curse the day he sent me a friend book request in 2009, because if I knew things were going to turn out this way then I would have never even joined Facebook just to avoid this monster.

I just want to leave this world and I'm running out of time because the more I stay alive the more crazy I feel …. I really want to die and be at peace, I just hate everything to do with living and I'm just mentally exhausted and so out of it….

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrible what you've been through, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for as this world truly is such a hellish place to exist in.

 

[angelicisight]

This guy has been mentally abusing me on and off since 2018 and has been harassing me and when asked he denies everything. To say I hate this man is even an understatement and him harassing me, cyberstalking me and slandering me and destroying everything in my life makes me feel like I met a devil in life.

I'm tired of being his emotional "punching bag" and tbh his relentless mental abuse and destroying my life is the reason why I want to complete ctb. I just realised that the more I'm alive the more crazy I'm getting because of the amount of psychological damage he has caused me . I regret the day I became "friends" with this monster and even helping him. I get angry at myself more than anything for even allowing him to come to our house when my mum was very much against the idea and she didn't like him.

I hope and pray that I succeed in completing my ctb and if I don't succeed I will keep on and keep on trying. I want out…

My life has been hell on earth and that is even putting it lightly.

Ohhh… well that makes a lot of sense now. Man I must have read it wrong before. I thought you got in a fight with another girl? I have no idea what you were writing about I guess, but this makes way more sense. You know I tend to have really bad reactions to people that have been abused. I was really in love with someone in like 2021, but whenever we got into some drama her sister would come around and just say something that really would set my off. I would just lose my mind, and I think one time I said something like "You're sister is a bitch, and you're a bitch too!"

I only know that part because like a month or so later I found out that it really hurt the person I was in love with that I called her a bitch even though I wasn't thinking about her. That made me really sad, and I didn't want to get like that again, but for some reason people that have been abused they just really make me feel some type of way. I don't know why.

Well thankfully I don't feel like I said anything without composure even if it was harsh, but now I sort of understand a little why from a human standpoint. I don't understand why those people make me have that reaction though. It's like this anger, but it's not even angry at them. It's angry and like this feeling that something got so twisted and wrong. I don't know why I feel that.

 

[90starve]

I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that, yeah I can't see myself ever being "normal" ever again my mental health is at it's worst and there is no amount of medication or therapy that will ever fix this. I truly curse the day he sent me a friend book request in 2009, because if I knew things were going to turn out this way then I would have never even joined Facebook just to avoid this monster.

I just want to leave this world and I'm running out of time because the more I stay alive the more crazy I feel …. I really want to die and be at peace, I just hate everything to do with living and I'm just mentally exhausted and so out of it….

i understand the frustration and distress of not being able to escape </3 i was only able to get away from my ex by moving home and unfriending/ blocking everybody he associated with - but this sadly isn't an option for everybody.

i just wish that there was a way to snap my fingers and make him disappear :(

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

i understand the frustration and distress of not being able to escape </3 i was only able to get away from my ex by moving home and unfriending/ blocking everybody he associated with - but this sadly isn't an option for everybody.

i just wish that there was a way to snap my fingers and make him disappear :(

I don't even want to do that anymore as I'm just tired and I just want to be at eternal peace.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Sorry I didn't understand your poem but thank you for your well wishes.

My dream is to just to cease to exist and I really wish there was a switch button where I would just switch off you know ( like switch off permanently)

Life hasn't been easy and I want out, I don't see myself lasting that long, I have endured this abuse for way too long…. I can tell I'm reaching my near end and I will be at eternal peace.

I'm just mentally exhausted

Ps "feel Terrible " ?? Are you saying that I should feel Terrible?? For what ?? If that's what you meant then no I don't feel terrible because I never made such accusations and also you saying to me if you said anything to me offensive or inappropriate you will correct - Your words means little to nothing to me - that's a fact - I have heard worse than from that "beg a friend" that is slandering my name. He only can get recognised if he is talking about me and nothing else.

That's why he was calling me asking me to meet up for tea like I would rather slit my throat than meet with such a beg. And that's that on that .

Sorry for my ambiguous post. Thanks for your honest input and I won't make any excuse - I'm sorry.