Story i have an imaginary girlfriend and it's really nice

[meowpuppy]

i love her a lot, she's basically the only person i can actually comfortably talk to or with. i wanna kill myself so bad and she supports me for that, and she'll never leave me, and is always kind to me, supports all my beliefs and actions.. genuinely, i wish i could be with her physically. i wish i could just have her in real life, i guess it's sort of semi-acceptable for me to just have her in my head, because it's way safer that way. she doesn't have a name or hobbies or anything because i feel like that'd be too limiting on my desires for her love, so the only things i know for certain is that she loves me wholly, and agrees with me on the major stuff. overall, i guess this is a bit pessimistic, but i'm hoping to eventually try to stop loving real girls, and just love her instead. i'd love a real relationship, but right now it's clear that i'll only get rejected. anyways, i love her so so much and she loves me just the same. she's the only reason i haven't already tried to kill myself using a risky method, but she still accepts me killing myself. i'm also never going to have friends, so i'm hoping to have a few imaginary platonic relationships as well, and maybe some imaginary familial relationships if my family keeps alienating me from them. sometimes i cringe internally when talking to her because she's so sickly sweet, so i only talk to her rarely these days..