Venting I have a terrible gut feeling about my girlfriend

[its_joever]

I think I'm losing my mind. We've only been dating for 3 months now. I had felt strongly about this girl before. I was surprised when she was willing to date me. I've never been happier in my life.

And yet there are just things that irk me about her. For example. There was this douchebag in our class who I absolutely despise, up until a point she wouldn't shut up about what he had said one time or how it was funny or just whatever. Like you can tell she has a positive outlook on the guy. And since we were in the same class I used to see them flirting everyday. Well maybe you might think "flirting" is debatable. And even though there was another girl next to her and he was talking to her as well. It doesn't change the way I feel.

Because the way he was looking at her and smiling and she kept laughing at whatever he would say or just the fact she would pay him more attention than most in general.
I can tell he is being flirtatious with him. And when I told her this and how I felt. She told me that I'm being controlling and insecure. I don't like this.
One time he sent some text message in the group and she told me that she's going to send him a heart emoji. Then I when I got mad she told me that "how could you think I'd do that? It was just a joke" and I ended up apologizing. as I write that my hands are shaking from anxiety. I can tell how doomed I had felt

I don't think I can stay with her anymore. This insecure feeling is dawning on me. She even tried breaking up with me twice for unknown reasons. But I couldn't let go. I feel in my gut that something is wrong, that this is really not the person I'd rather be with. But I also feel like this is the only person I'd rather live with. I'm really trapped.

I guess I'll give it more time until I figure it out. It's just a lot of fucking pain to be honest.

 

[onyx559]

Coming as someone who use to be a POS partner.
Whenever I use to get drunk at bars I get very flirtatious. To the point where it's noticeable by EVERYONE except me. My girlfriend would come to me about how it's a problem for her and I would say "you're being insecure and controlling" when in reality i'm being an asshole and making her look stupid. But I couldn't admit that so i'd turn it on her.
I'm not saying that's what your girlfriend is doing. Only she can tell you that but you shouldn't downplay your feelings and concerns. All you can do is talk to her about your feelings. Then from that you need to figure out if gonna do anything about it or not. if you talk to her about it and decide you're not gonna do anything about it and you're just gonna let it be then you can't bring it up again cause the conversation will most likely just end the same.