Venting I have a family Christmas party in 1.5 hours…

[trying ungracefully]

I hate anxiety and food issues. I want to go so bad because I haven't seen this extended family in so long. But I'm afraid of being around so many people, there's going to be 30. And it's hard because I barely know them anymore even though I do want to see them and they like me too. It's also the fact that I don't drive so I'd be going with my brother and he said he'd stay 3-4 hours and I hate not having an escape and staying long. I also hate using a bathroom other than my house and as embarrassing as it is anxiety makes me have to pee so much.

It's also the food issues. I can't eat and my stomach has been acting up with heavier foods and all there is there is heavier foods except salad. I don't want to look weird and only eat salad at a party and then not eating a dessert. I want to eat these things it's just the texture and feeling in my stomach that I don't want to deal with in front of people and also anxiety makes it impossible to eat. I even sometimes gag and sometimes I can't swallow right where I do a chin tuck which is embarrassing.

I just really wish my anxiety and food issues could go away for one day so I can have fun. I'm 21 now so it's the first year I can actually drink with my family which would be fun but I just can't. I also don't want to seem like an asshole either and anything my mom says to cover will just be an excuse to everyone. I'm trying to still push myself to go but it seems like I've already decided I'm not going

Edit: didn't go. Now I feel like shit and lonely with my whole family gone and having fun. I had the regret of not going which I hate. It doesn't feel good to be like this. I just want the day to pass by but I still have 10 hours about until I go to sleep.

 

[suicidesergal]

Then you learn from this and find what works for you. It's just one time. Next year you can look back and go.

 

[timf]

One tip if you are stuck in a social situation is to ask other people questions. Most people like to talk about themselves and appreciate someone showing an interest in them. It often kills time until you can escape.

 

[marksofdespair]

One tip if you are stuck in a social situation is to ask other people questions. Most people like to talk about themselves and appreciate someone showing an interest in them. It often kills time until you can escape.

absolutely agree, that's how I socialize is just letting others talk about themselves the whole time.

 

[BlockedintheUK]

Sorry you regret it but maybe you can go to a smaller event with less pressure maybe something you can leave at any time rather than being stuck?
Sorry you regret it but maybe you can go to a smaller event with less pressure maybe something you can leave at any time rather than being stuck?