• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
Darkover

Darkover

Archangel
Jul 29, 2021
5,649
Waking up feels like being dragged from a place of peace into the harshness of reality, where the weight of existence crashes down as soon as the eyes open. It's like the world comes rushing in with all its demands, all its noise, and all its unrelenting pain, before you even have a chance to take a breath. The relief of sleep fades, and in its place is the overwhelming awareness of everything that's wrong, everything that hurts, everything that makes you want to turn back, to stay hidden in the quiet of oblivion.

Each day feels like a repeat of the last, an endless loop of struggle and suffering, where even the smallest of tasks, the bare minimum to keep living, feels like an insurmountable mountain. The cycle of misery seems to stretch on, with no way out, no reprieve, just the constant, gnawing reminder that you're trapped in this existence, one where happiness feels like a distant memory, something you've forgotten how to even recognize.

It's hard to imagine anything other than this: the pain, the exhaustion, the hopelessness. It's easy to forget that once, maybe, life felt different, felt better. But in this moment, it all blurs into an unbroken string of days, where waking up is both the hardest part and the cruelest. Every morning feels like starting over, only to be pulled back into the same hell, again and again.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: yomander369, qsocdu, Hollowman and 16 others
MathConspiracy

MathConspiracy

Trapped in a (prison) cell of organic molecules
Mar 25, 2025
245
I feel you. I barely slept for 6 hours last night. Every time I wake up I tell myself that it's my last day. But no, the next morning comes and I have to go through this shit over and over again. I actually tried to hang myself last night, wasn't even a serious attempt, I was just hoping that I'd pass out by some miracle. Well, here I am.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: whenmorningloryfall, overmorrow and Darkover
N

NoHorizon

A pig in a cage on antibiotics
Nov 22, 2022
413
It's the worst part of the day, having that realisation that you're still alive.
 
  • Like
Reactions: whenmorningloryfall, overmorrow and Darkover
J

Jadeith

Wizard
Jan 14, 2025
642
Saw sth similar in someone's profile here:
"kind of tired sleep can't cure"
No matter if i sleep 4 or 10h, always wake up tired.
 
  • Like
Reactions: whenmorningloryfall, overmorrow and Darkover
iloveyouihateyou

iloveyouihateyou

probably die before it hurts
Oct 23, 2024
118
totally agree with you i actually just thought about this this morning, not like it's different from any other morning. the feeling of consciousness coming back and the reality of the situation returning to your mind it's so agonizing, wanting to return to sleep but even worse is when you know have to get up it's like getting beat up every morning it's so horrible
 
  • Like
Reactions: overmorrow and Darkover
musingsofaghost

musingsofaghost

i think, therefore i am
Apr 3, 2025
38
You worded this feeling so accurately. Sleep is my favourite thing because it gives me a brief reprieve from the shitshow that is life. I'd give anything to pass in my slumber and not have to deal with this draining reality.
 
  • Like
Reactions: overmorrow and Darkover
Pluto

Pluto

Cat Extremist
Dec 27, 2020
6,739
62bd9b6d12c06d19c627a22d22a4e867.jpg
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Rynalia, NoPoint2Life and Darkover
overmorrow

overmorrow

it hurts so bad, i can taste it
Oct 15, 2024
262
monotony eats you from inside, it's awful really
 
  • Like
Reactions: Darkover
J

Jadeith

Wizard
Jan 14, 2025
642
Saw sth similar in someone's profile here:
"kind of tired sleep can't cure"
No matter if i sleep 4 or 10h, always wake up tired.
Found it. It was from restlesseyes and exact quote was:
"Type of tired no amount of sleep can fix"
 
NearlyIrrelevantCake

NearlyIrrelevantCake

The Cake Is A Lie
Aug 12, 2021
2,516
The best part of my day is when I'm asleep and unaware of existence.

Between my psych meds and seizure meds, I'm sleeping 14-16 hours at a time.
 
bankai

bankai

Visionary
Mar 16, 2025
2,340
At some point of time I couldn't stomach having to get up and face a new day. It happened a few years ago. Everyday is the same.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Britney Spears
Britney Spears

Britney Spears

toxic
Jan 4, 2025
542
Nightmares upon waking, freedom in dreams. When you open your eyes, it's a daily hellish slap. Terrifying boom.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Grey Worm and bankai

Similar threads

shinitai-chan
Replies
8
Views
299
Suicide Discussion
shinitai-chan
shinitai-chan
The Disqualified
Replies
1
Views
140
Suicide Discussion
charlavail
charlavail
jes7ter
Replies
2
Views
251
Suicide Discussion
cursedlife
C
xaxs
Replies
0
Views
136
Suicide Discussion
xaxs
xaxs
anopenwound
Replies
0
Views
136
Suicide Discussion
anopenwound
anopenwound