Idgaf what happens
Im happy im out! Fucking finally
Im happy im out! Fucking finally
throwaway123
Hell0
- Aug 5, 2018
- 1,446
yea I think about that a lot to be honest. It bothers me but there is nothing I can do. I just hope there is nothing. Just imagine. You arriving in heaven. You, the loser. They've seen all of your pathetic little life and then you live with them happily forever and ever......
dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,298
wait wait wait, I've read ya , and you are saying you'll use SN soon.
Really, so you want out too?
dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,298
well, so it seems, but I dont see many people actually looking forward to it..
whats stopping you? just curious
dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,298
im sorry, of course I wonder how beautiful my life could've been... .if just some couple mistakes weren't made... damm..
Me being born was a mistake.
My mom told me one time she tried to save me, that the blanket was on my face when i was a newborn (she could see thru the window) and the door was locked. So she grabbed the super and he got inside.
I bet she regrets that now.
Chalken
Decaying
- Nov 20, 2018
- 214
I've thought about this a lot. I imagine my funeral, how everyone will react to my suicide, how some people will probably use it to gain attention for themselves and eventually everyone will just move on as if nothing had happened. Perhaps the only people who won't move on as soon is my family. As much as they support me, I'm afraid it won't be enough to stop me from ctb.
Honestly, when you're dead, nothing will matter anymore, so thinking about this is kind of pointless, but still.
Honestly, when you're dead, nothing will matter anymore, so thinking about this is kind of pointless, but still.
dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,298
its love, and its not pointless, its keeping me alive, and I also do hate it...
I really don't care what people will say about me. But I do care about what they'll say about my parents. They're the ones that would have to live through it, not me.
My mom supposedly lost me in the lake when I was like 2 yrs old. I was under the water for a few mins and she couldn't find me. Wish she would have just let me drown then. I was doomed from the beginning :(
I take those as signs (as weird as i may sound). A sign there's disaster waiting for me...and now look.
Alchemist
Warlock
- Apr 3, 2019
- 709
If that happened to me it would be the first time someone gives a shit about me, even if it's just pretend.
Davy
Have a great day!
- Mar 24, 2019
- 144
Does anyone else here not use social media?
I literally don't have any social media at all, I feel like an outcast sometimes since everyone else uses it. I do have a few close friends but they say it's hard to contact me since I always ignore phone calls and texts.
I literally don't have any social media at all, I feel like an outcast sometimes since everyone else uses it. I do have a few close friends but they say it's hard to contact me since I always ignore phone calls and texts.
She brought this story up when I went with her to a dinner at some friends of hers place with a bunch of people there. It was recently. She's told me before. It's a little weird that she brings it up like that. Not sure what prompted it in the context of the convo. I can't remember. It did occur to me that she secretly wanted to drown me and make it appear like an accident but changed her mind and now feels guilty that she secretly wanted to kill me. My mom was negligent enough to let a sexual predator molest me at age 10 so I don't put it past her. She probably knew but did nothing. Sneaky psychopath narcissist mothers. Why the hell would u let your 2 yr old in deep water like that without like really holding on to them or even putting them at risk like that. For years I was in denial about my mom but now that I understand psychological pathologies more I question things she did to me as a kid. Maybe I'm paranoid though lol! I could be all wrong and it was completely innocent.
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Alchemist
Warlock
- Apr 3, 2019
- 709
I bet it feels like freedom.
The only social media I have left is Facebook and it's mostly live vicariously through others and find on how many levels I'm a failure because nobody ever bothers to contact me except when needing something.
Davy
Have a great day!
- Mar 24, 2019
- 144
Feels bad man.
I feel like there's no point in having it since I don't know many people, not like I'd post about anything anyway since I hate going outside.
I suppose
But i don't have any friends. So what's the point. Also i have many triggers.. and i think social media will bring out 50% of it.so forget it!
Lol yeah exactly!Feels bad man.
I feel like there's no point in having it since I don't know many people, not like I'd post about anything anyway since I hate going outside.
FTL.Wanderer
Enlightened
- May 31, 2018
- 1,782
It's been YEARS since I've had any personal relationships. I threw Facebook away before that was even a thing. And I use a VoIP phone b/c --why pay for something social when you have no community? I respect your feelings. I can't relate to caring what others think or feel since I don't have any others. And I'm confident I'll just be a rotting bag of meat anyway. How would others find out you ctb? Is it possible to leave, if/when you're ready, privately, deleting your social media accounts in advance?
Weeping Garbage Can
ਕਿਰਪਾ ਕਰਕੇ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਭੁੱਲ ਜਾਓ ❤️
- Oct 31, 2018
- 320
I don't care about how the general public will view my suicide, they never knew me. But I do care about those who've grown to care for me, and how they'll be affected. I think if/when I decide to ctb, I would want it to be private as possible, but I would make personalized goodbye letters to all of those in my heart.
I would actually be quite happy for people to know... some of the reason for my suicidal ideation is due to other people's callous behaviour towards me so maybe the inkling that they contributed to someone's premature death would cause them to be more careful in the future. It probably wouldn't change anything, but I would want people to know how seriously their actions can affect somebody.
If I'd been able to pull off exit bag or something, I'd also be quite proud of achieving a relatively peaceful death and would prefer for it to be public knowledge so that people would know how it happened.
If I'd been able to pull off exit bag or something, I'd also be quite proud of achieving a relatively peaceful death and would prefer for it to be public knowledge so that people would know how it happened.
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ultraviolet sin
RUDEBOY
- Jul 17, 2018
- 93
I respect your reasons. Mine might be to also serve the purpose to destigmatize suicide talk, be it awareness of therapy services, etc, to the more extreme act of doing so. Lots of people can benefit from someone to talk to, and I think mental illness needs to be destigmatized.
Yes definitely. My brother was a wonderful person yet I feel like all anyone will remember about him is that he died of an overdose......
HappyEnding
Member
- Mar 23, 2019
- 85
I really don't care either way. But if anyone ends up knowing, I hope it's my former bullies. They may not show they care but I hope the guilt eats them alive to their core. Suffer :D
GoodForNothing
Member
- Mar 6, 2019
- 19
Honestly it sounds woe is me, but I don't think anyone would notice. Pretty much a ghost through my school years and the same for my work life. No social media and I only really spend time on sites like reddit and a few other anonymous sites.
I am ___________
Hated, Unloved by the world and everything in it.
- Jan 3, 2019
- 134
I deleted all that shit once I found out the true nature of my so called friends and family. Glad it's all gone, they can leave me the fuck alone.
mattwitt
# 978
- Jun 28, 2018
- 2,307
Yeah I dread being that guy also. Everybody I went to high school with will be like did you here so and so killed himself every time they run into someone else from high school. And they'll be like why did he do it and nobody will ever really know.
It doesn't matter what other people think. Do what you think is better for you.
