Venting I hate this

[Vivisection]

I want to CTB so bad :p
I am trapped in a cycle of improving, maybe even just a little, followed by getting worse than ever before
and I have been my whole life
every single time it feels like I'm on the brink of getting better something ruins it.
I've ruined my friendships while trying to fix them, it took me one night to spill everything to those people, just a few hours for me to be the most vulnerable i had ever been with anyone [on their request] , and now 6 weeks later theyre all still "thinking" about
I am stuck, ugly and fat, too scared to actually CTB, too pathetic to ever manage getting better, I can't even get a job
i am alone with nothing now and its all my fault

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be tiring being in that situation, I get that it's awful feeling trapped in an situation you hate, I really wish that suicide was much easier. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[MrDarkness]

Same, I stopped trying to improve, I'm sick of trying to make things better when they obviously won't, my life is just a void, I feel nothing. I hope your life gets better

 

[Vivisection]

It must be tiring being in that situation, I get that it's awful feeling trapped in an situation you hate, I really wish that suicide was much easier. But anyway I wish you the best.

I wish it was too
thank you :)

Same, I stopped trying to improve, I'm sick of trying to make things better when they obviously won't, my life is just a void, I feel nothing. I hope your life gets better

people say it gets better
and people say theyll be there for you
yet when i fought so hard for help or to get better all of a sudden friends are nowhere to be found and i was treated like a joke

im so done :P
rotting in pain is easier

 

[dory]

Wishing you peace:) healthcare is bs and suicide isn't easy, its like this world was built for us to suffer

 

[Vivisection]

Wishing you peace:) healthcare is bs and suicide isn't easy, its like this world was built for us to suffer

it really is, the system we're in is cruel