Discussion I hate the part of me that wants to die

[Polyxo]

I'm being cared for, life is normal. I have an office job and family. I have an online friend who cares about me too. I can start applying to better jobs. I have some work experience. People have it so much worse than me. I'm grateful.

But I don't fucking belong here. I want to die. I'm already the black sheep of my family. Killing myself would bring them even more shame than I already have just by living. But there's no other option for me. I'm just hoping someone out there relates a little.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

I'll see a post on here and wonder so much if I know the other person already from off this site, even as I know it's unlikely. I feel for my friends and my family, I do, but I can't get rid of the nagging voice in my head, the silent whisper telling me I'd be better off dead. The only reason I'm still here is that my mind hasn't accepted the permanence of death.