I hate the excuse that there are people living through horrible things that are happier than me

[SuicidalSheep]

This often comes up. I tell people that if I go blind (there's a realistic chance for me) I 100% would not want to live no questions asked no nuances anymore. And then they go "But there's happy blind people" or give examples of people living through absolutely horrible things who are still glad they exist. Well just because they can tolerate it doesn't mean I can and maybe they don't have depression and pssd and bullshit fucking with how they actually feel about it after. Some people are really good at tolerating the cold or even like it. Other peoples bodies are so sensitive to cold it's dangerous. Stop pretending everyone can tolerate the same things or has the same standards. I barely ever feel excited about anything, I can barely take care of myself as is despite being in a super privelaged situation, and sometimes some silly video game is what gets me through the day and you're telling me being blind won't fuck me over?


It seems like "healthy" people have almost stockholm syndrome levels of a positive bias towards the mere act of existence. No matter how much they are tortured there's a survival instinct that doesn't just take over their body in danger like with me, it clouds their emotions and concious judgements in a way I can't fathom. I have always felt way more of an incongruence between my conciousness and whatever the fuck my body is doing but theirs seems to be more in line.
People who live a person that abuses them are labeled unhealthy but that's kinda how they act towards life, and somehow everyone else is supposed to feel the same way.
I'm not glad to merely just exist. I don't get anything out of that, something interesting actually needs to happen. That means I have to survive in a cruel world and risk pain, discomfort and death at any moment.
Now I'm not asking for an ultra rich lifestyle. I'd just like to actually have all my senses and mental helath in tact, be safe, and feel happiness, pleasure and fullfilment, have people I can relate to, and appreciate some art and studies. But that's already too much to ask in this world.

 

[Avyn]

I understand how you feel, them saying that is so invalidating.
Imagine if you were homeless, how on earth would that "logic" apply here? "Some homeless people are happy so you should be happy too"?
I don't take these people seriously, the fact they can say that without feeling any remorse or empathy, imo means they have never had any real hardships in life.
Maybe they're trying to say that you can achieve happiness even under bad circumstances and conditions, and "this happy blind person" is proof of that?
It still wouldn't help any ill person with feeling better.

Healthy people aren't struggling for their lives every day, battling with suicidal thoughts, hopelessness and no motivation. They know there's suffering in this world but they don't want to actively think about it because they either don't care or it would destroy their mood.
You are the odd one, because you don't think like them, because they surround themselves with other healthy, happy people. They won't understand how it's like to live a life that's not sunshine and rainbows.
Yet they're usually the ones that bitch around at the smallest inconvenience like it's the end of the world.
I would love to open up to someone one day with them telling me "Yeah you're right (your) life sucks, it's completely valid to want to ctb", instead of trying to convince me how amazing life is, it makes me even more suicidal.

I hope your situation gets better, at least you have SS where you can find others that can relate to you and won't judge you
I'm here if you need someone to talk to <3

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It really stinks that you've gotten that kind of response. You would think blindness would be one thin that people would have no problem accepting someone not wanting to live with. You're right that what other people choose to tolerate is irrelevant to your situation. I have read accounts of paralyzed people who have chosen to live on and paralyzed people who have chosen to have life support terminated or seek assisted death.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's best just to take no notice of people like that. I cannot stand it when people push their life valuing beliefs onto others and expect them to feel the same way, the reality is that existing could never be an obligation and if someone wants to exit for whatever reason then there could never be anything wrong with that.

Everyone experiences life differently after all and I think that forcing toxic positivity onto others is harmful and insensitive. Just because some people want to stay here in a situation of extreme suffering doesn't mean that everyone has to, at least to me there could never be a benefit to being endlessly tormented just to deteriorate and die anyway. I just think that some delusional people don't want to come to terms with the fact that existence isn't always worth enduring.