Venting I hate that I have to do this...

[thatworthlessmale04]

19M here. I hate that I have to die. I really do. But it's necessary in order for my mother to be at peace again. The past 19 and a half years of her life has been kinda rough, because of me. My mother only married my father because she found out she was pregnant with me. She's still legally married to him to this very day, even though they separated when I was 2. My father skimped out on child support which landed him in jail. As a result, my mother had to homeschool me, and work very stressful night jobs in order to provide for my needs. Mix that in with the fact that I used to give her bad attitudes when I was in high school (until she had to bring her male friend in to straighten me out, which also led to me beginning my suicidal thoughts), and it's just...ugh. It's...it's not great. Lastly, I haven't had a fulfilling childhood like anyone else. I missed out on making great friends, and possibly fulfilling experiences as well. I just hate that I have to do this. But, I'm searching for the most painless method possible. So...there's that.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry for your situation but- none of it was your fault. Does it really feel like there's no hope for the future? Do you have any wish to try and live independently one day? Not all jobs require lots of qualifications. I don't know but if it's not actually something you want to do- I think perhaps you should explore other alternatives first. (If you haven't already.)

 

[Zaphkiel]

I concur
On the other hand, your mother lov you so much and did so much for you, if you were to dissapear it would be all those years down the drain she would be devastated imo.
Not dissuading you or anything but perhaps think from her point of view, she wouldn't have done so much for you if she was accounting you for anything. Even if not everything was pleasant, she tried her best it seems.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be dreadful being in that situation, but anyway best wishes with your plans.