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eryu

eryu

Member
Sep 25, 2021
90
I can relate. It does something to me that I don't know how to describe and I avoid it as much as possible.
It's slightly more tolerable when it's just people on tv or something but the closer to my reality, the worse it is.
So absolute worst would be real-life people close in age to me.
I can feel that there are a lot of internal walls I've erected to protect myself from the magnitude of my feelings.
When I see things about relationships and sex, these walls start to shake and it feels actually sort of violating. I feel nauseous and like deep, sensitive, private parts of myself are being jostled about and smashed. More vital parts just barely hold in place and these, if hit, would trigger a complete collapse.

One of the reasons I wish I did not feel anything.
 

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