Venting i hate people who try to " motivate " you .

[darknessisfine8]

whenever i talk to someone about being suicidal they just try to motivate me .

by saying how beautiful life is . how much stuff i can do . people being worse than me and all kind of stuff .


i find it really annoying for people trying to comfort me .

im not a broken doll . im a free person . with a choice .

i hate it when people who never felt suicidal ( actual attempts . not just cry baby stuff ) try to advise me .

its offending to me in a lot of ways .

first of all they ignore the fact im actually in pain .

they deny that im sad and they say im just " not seeing the beauty ".

and i hate it than they think theyre even in a position to teach me how to live (even if theres a way).

thats some sort of abuse to me .

they use my pain just to give themselves the sense of being kind and helpful .

its literally something they do for themselves . to agree with themselves and to make themselves feel more kind and good about themselves .

the act of " helping " suicidal people is so selfish to me .


the best they can do is to just accept us .


sometimes i dont wanna hear about therapy or meds .

i just want someone to hug me and say i love you anyway . nobody does obv .


thats my final proof that im not gonna trust anyone again and just go with the classic " im fine " till my next attempt .


its never a good idea to trust people . they hurt you everytime .

 

[Macedonian1987]

I hate them too because they dont know and will never know the suffering I endure on a daily basis. It's easy to be all happy and smiling when you are not in chronic pain or suffer from depression. I'm 100% sure that if they suffered from chronic pain they would have shut their "motivation" mouths in a hurry.

 

[lost in the lilies]

whenever i talk to someone about being suicidal they just try to motivate me .

by saying how beautiful life is . how much stuff i can do . people being worse than me and all kind of stuff .


i find it really annoying for people trying to comfort me .

im not a broken doll . im a free person . with a choice .

i hate it when people who never felt suicidal ( actual attempts . not just cry baby stuff ) try to advise me .

its offending to me in a lot of ways .

first of all they ignore the fact im actually in pain .

they deny that im sad and they say im just " not seeing the beauty ".

and i hate it than they think theyre even in a position to teach me how to live (even if theres a way).

thats some sort of abuse to me .

they use my pain just to give themselves the sense of being kind and helpful .

its literally something they do for themselves . to agree with themselves and to make themselves feel more kind and good about themselves .

the act of " helping " suicidal people is so selfish to me .


the best they can do is to just accept us .


sometimes i dont wanna hear about therapy or meds .

i just want someone to hug me and say i love you anyway . nobody does obv .


thats my final proof that im not gonna trust anyone again and just go with the classic " im fine " till my next attempt .


its never a good idea to trust people . they hurt you everytime .

It's a bit of a mixed bag. I feel like there's certainly a significant amount of people who do it as a form of virtue signaling, or as an attempt of proving it to themselves that they're different, that they know what they're doing, that they have "it" all together. But I think for the most part they do it with good intentions. It becomes a problem when they start to come across as condescending (even if they don't mean to), by in some way implying that the person who is suicidal simply isn't looking at things "the right way" or being ungrateful. But it's also difficult from their perspective, and I say this having been in both positions before. When someone you enjoy being around, someone you truly value and find fascinating expresses that they just want to leave as soon as they're able to, it's not an easy thing to take in. In a way, it's selfish, because we might prioritize the fact that we like them and want them to be here with us over just how tired they are of life, but I feel like this is something that can't really be helped.

I've found that the best I can do when I'm the comforter is to just sort of "meet them at their level", and instead of trying to convince them that things are not as how they perceive them, or tell them about how they should be filled up with a hope for a better future that has long since been dead within them, I just tell them that I understand, and that life really can be grim. But I also like to remind them that, even if they don't really feel it, they matter to me and that my own life would not feel the same without them in it. Maybe it's selfish of me, but I guess both sides can be seen as guilty of that. It's just a tricky situation, I think. Nobody likes to see someone they love and care about suffering, and their first instinct is to try and comfort them even if they're not really sure how they can do that.
I'm sorry if most of the people around you do it in a way that does more harm than good, or if they really just do it for themselves. But also I don't think it's nice to undermine people who have not yet attempted. It's a very scary thing that many people here struggle with themselves, and I don't think whether someone has attempted or not is good a way of measuring the intensity or validity of the pain they're in. I hope you can find some people who will be able to really understand you and hear what you have to say without just trying to disregard the way you feel & spouting off random motivational quotes or advice they've been conditioned to repeat.

 

[_Gollum_]

the best they can do is to just accept us .


sometimes i dont wanna hear about therapy or meds .

i just want someone to hug me and say i love you anyway . nobody does obv .

Same. I wish they would just say "Whatever you decide, I respect your decision. In the meantime, I'll try to do what I can to ease your suffering."

 

[telekon]

It's sort of a reflex. It's definitely annoying when people reccommend therapy or meds or other things that absolutely do not work though. I agree to an extent that we have forgotten the beauty in the world and maybe it's not accessible to us anymore. When that happens, people become suicidal.

 

[woodlandcreature]

thats my final proof that im not gonna trust anyone again and just go with the classic " im fine " till my next attempt .

same here. people are full of it. they've proven that time and time again. when you actually need them they're not there and when you don't they just spew stupidity.

 

[Greasyhair]

Every few months I have to go to unemployment office, and sometimes in the meeting there is mental health "specialist." Last time I had to listen to lecture of how "It will get better, but only if you want it to get better" and otherwise basically implying its due to my lack of effort that I am sick. I wonder if she would have given the same talk, if I had some physical injury?

I saw someone here say that only people suffering from x can understand x, and I whole hardheartedly agree with it. People can only relate to what is close to them and "our" situation is alien to them.