Venting I HATE NPD + whatever the hell is wrong with me

[echoINTHEMIRROR]

There is so much fundamentally wrong with me from autism and adhd to being emotionally and physically neglected to being isolated for years on end during important developmental parts of my life and now i'm a fucking wreck. I am easily comparable to an under-socialized animal at this point and its not even my fault. I want friends and i want to trust people but im terrified of everyone and want to hide any tume i feel ive done anything wrong and i dont know what to do anymore. i feel like im unsaveable at this point. the only reasons i havent gone thru with it is that i want my cats out of my parents house (my dad kicks anything in his way and my brother's dog has nobody besides the cats to play with (the cats do not want to play)) and i dont want to make a mess in my actual family's house. im just tired of being unfixable and sick. im tired of physical disability ryling my life and not being able to do anything about it bc i cant work yet and i cant go to school as much bc i dont have a way to sustainably go so im just. still isolated. and its daunting and tiring and eugh

 

[sanctionedusage]

holding on for animals is always so difficult. theyre usually the ones that have no one else to speak up for them, legally or personally. being disabled and still caring so much, also about details like not 'making a mess,' makes me really sad you were dealt these cards.

 

[echoINTHEMIRROR]

holding on for animals is always so difficult. theyre usually the ones that have no one else to speak up for them, legally or personally. being disabled and still caring so much, also about details like not 'making a mess,' makes me really sad you were dealt these cards.

I love my pets and care about people a lot. I hate making people's lives harder