Kadaver
Maybe death is like falling asleep
- Aug 11, 2023
- 182
Why couldn't I have been born a male? I had a family friend misgender and deadname me over and over a few days ago and it just woke me up to my reality; I most likely won't ever get to transition. I won't ever get to be comfortable in my body. I won't ever get to feel happy with myself.
How do I tell people that if I can't transition I'd rather be dead? How do I say that my body makes me wish I could just kill myself? If I told them, they would never understand; they can't. To them all I need is to get up and brush myself off, but they don't understand what its like when brushing the dirt off means that the sun scorches your skin. I just want to die. I'm really thinking about buying SN again. I just want to not feel this way anymore—i want to be free from "my" body.
How do I tell people that if I can't transition I'd rather be dead? How do I say that my body makes me wish I could just kill myself? If I told them, they would never understand; they can't. To them all I need is to get up and brush myself off, but they don't understand what its like when brushing the dirt off means that the sun scorches your skin. I just want to die. I'm really thinking about buying SN again. I just want to not feel this way anymore—i want to be free from "my" body.
