I hate lying

[Electric1]

Nothing gets the adrenaline pumping like hearing your name get called while you have a noose around your neck. I hate that it's happened like, more than 3 times at this point. I'm always so frantic trying to get the rope off my neck too and I know it's not good to do that either. Like what if I accidentally slipped or some shit and I was found extremely early and then I just have to live with brain damage. Then I just have to lie straight to their fucking face, and then they LITERALLY SAID "I thought you were dead in there, don't worry me like that". I just kind of laughed and shrugged it off. They have no idea they are literally foreshadowing it. That tears me apart. Like, I want to be an honest person, but you just can't be honest with suicide.

 

[UKscotty]

I think we have to decide if we want recovery or not.. then go from there.

If people genuinely want to CTB then talking to other people about it is a bad idea in my view.
Normal people will react by requiring us to be locked up or otherwise restricted in some way... which can only make the situation worse if getting better is not what we want.

The decision to CTB is obviously a complicated one, I have spent over 25 years trying to figure it out....