Venting I hate being constantly watched.

[Runawayguy]

In my house, I am forced to stay in the living room. It is the most open place in my house, with it being in full view from every other room. There are no closable doors, and I have to do anything I want to do in its center, with my every action being watched from 360 degrees. I cant go in any other room for more than 5-6 minutes without parental supervision, then theyll come into that room and watch me constantly until I go back to the living room, where I eat sleep study and everything else .

If I try to close a door, they'll start slamming the door repeatedly in a minute or so, screaming at me until I open the door, after which Ill have to give a detailed explanation on why I needed to lock the door. There is always someone watching me, my mom or dad, I can always see someone standing from a door or the corridor watching me. If I am on my laptop then they'll sit right next to me watching what I do on my screen. I don't have socials, just my Gmail, which I have to give access to my parents so they can monitor what messages I received. I get like 5-6 minutes of respite every 4-5 hours. I can't even shower longer than necessary because then they'll start slamming the door repeatedly until I open it, and give an explanation. Every minute of my life is being watched. Even when its night, they take turns to sleep, my dad will stay awake till 3-4 AM then go to sleep and my mom will be awake by then who'll watch what I am doing, sleeping or otherwise.

I have cut every part of my life that requires any privacy to the point I can't even remember what actions require privacy, I hate being monitored and watched 24/7.

I already want to die for a million different reasons, This just makes it way worse.

 

[SASU-KE]

Did you ever attempt before? Is that why they are doing this or is it just the way they are normally?

 

[Runawayguy]

Did you ever attempt before? Is that why they are doing this or is it just the way they are normally.

No, they are like this normally (Since I was a kid, but back then they used to go out of the house. Now my mom stays here 24/7 and y dad goes to work after whcih he doesnt go out.). I did attempt before when I was in my dorm in college. But they dont really care about that I think. They are doing this to make sure, I am working 24/7 because I am a leech, and they dont want to spend any more money on me. (I know this because they say this to me every chance they get. I dont disagree with them tbf, but its not fun to hear it all the time either)

 

[SASU-KE]

That's just absurd. These are the people you gotta run away from ASAP.

Are you close to finishing college? Hopefully a degree and a job will get you far away from them. Also, are you an only child?I want to know if they are coddling you since your their only kid or are they just being miserable and evil?

 

[Runawayguy]

That's just absurd. These are the people you gotta run away from ASAP.

Are you close to finishing college? Hopefully a degree and a job will get you far away from them. Also, are you an only child?I want to know if they are coddling you since your their only kid or are they just being miserable and evil?

I have an older brother but he went no contact with them first chance he got after he left this house, I still talk to him sometimes, he lives in a different country. Its just me and them now. And about the job thing. If I had prospects I would take them, unfortunately, I have severely tanked my education, no internships, terrible thesis, etc (Depression, screwed myself over). I could get back on track if given a few months to just work on my weaknesses, but I dont have that kind of money nor do my parents have that kind of patience. They want me out ASAP, so I am applying and failing.

Also not coddling probably, because they would degrade and insult me for not having a future or prospects if given a chance. I cant do anything because they are right after all.