Venting I hate being alive, all I feel right now is pain

[LibertyLily]

Every day I look forward to going back to sleep just to have a moment where I forget who I am and forget what my problems are.

The moment I wake up and remember who I am and my situation is always the worst part of my day.

If only I had the guts to ctb but sadly I don't.

I'm just sick of feeling pain.

I don't actually want to die I just hate my life.

I feel like an NPC in someone else's life.

Oh well, one day it will all be over.

 

[peacetime]

I recommend putting it all down on paper and making a plan to fix those problems.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really can be so dreadful feeling trapped in an existence that you hate and it must be tiring being in that situation. I also find it so awful waking up and realising that I'm still here, I absolutely hate the fact how voluntarily leaving this world is so difficult. If suicide is much easier of course I would be long gone at this point. It really is such a cruel existence where so much endless suffering continues to exist, I'm sorry that you have to endure this.

 

[lonewolf22]

You're lucky that sleep brings you some respite. I suffer just as much in my fucking dreams. For me the pain is 24/7 :(

 

[Someone123]

Every day I look forward to going back to sleep just to have a moment where I forget who I am and forget what my problems are.

The moment I wake up and remember who I am and my situation is always the worst part of my day.

If only I had the guts to ctb but sadly I don't.

I'm just sick of feeling pain.

I don't actually want to die I just hate my life.

I feel like an NPC in someone else's life.

Oh well, one day it will all be over.

This is very well said and it reflects how many people here feel, except that many people here will eventually ctb when the time comes that the pain and lack of hope for recovery are too much.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Same same… at night I pretend I'm safe …

 

[Forever Sleep]

This resonates so much. I utterly detest that moment when I wake up and become aware of myself.

 

[Raskolnikov's Axe]

I understand. Those days when even existing is exhausting

 

[Heartbroken2022]

I feel you absolutely. The worst thing is (at least for me) that I have dreams of my past, happy life and then I wake up and I realise that all these nice pictures were just a dream. And the reality crushes you every single morning.

 

[novem]

I feel you absolutely. The worst thing is (at least for me) that I have dreams of my past, happy life and then I wake up and I realise that all these nice pictures were just a dream. And the reality crushes you every single morning.

same happens to me

 

[outrider567]

I feel you absolutely. The worst thing is (at least for me) that I have dreams of my past, happy life and then I wake up and I realise that all these nice pictures were just a dream. And the reality crushes you every single morning.

Exactly how my life is now also

 

[downndone2]

I feel it 100%, it is awful

 

[nosoul]

Wrote a similar post about it, I'm looking forward to taking my pills to sleep, it's the only rest I get, I hate my existence or lack of it right now:(