i guess it wasn't abuse if I technically said yes, right? i need u

[emptywings]

I've always been kinda stuck on this. I was at a friend's place with a few other friends, and I sat next to him. then he started, like, touching me, yk? i got really scared and kept pushing his hand away, but he just kept doing it, even harder. i felt pretty helpless, honestly. but at the same time, I obviously liked the way it felt. srry, ik that's kinda graphic.


then he asked me to go to his room with him, and I said no like, at least ten times. he just wouldn't drop it. eventually everyone else left, and my Uber was taking forever. he begged me again to come to his room, and eventually I gave in. and yeah, you can probably guess what happened after that.


and if you're wondering whether I actually liked it… honestly, yeah, i did in the moment. but when I had to leave, i cried the whole way home because i really didn't want any of that to happen.


i've never really known what to make of the whole thing. i guess i always thought it was my fault because I eventually went along with it and didn't ask anyone for help, especially since I felt pleasure.


what do u guys think happened here?

 

[.idiot]

>kept pushing his hand away
I will assume you did it a few times, as in around 5 times.

>I said no like, at least ten times
10+5=15
>eventually
I'll assume you asked ten more times, so that makes 25 times.

So you said "no" 25 times.


90% his fault for not taking a very big hint- I say 90% instead of 100% because, as you said, you ultimately gave in instead of waiting for your uber, or maybe starting to walk.

So, no, it is not your fault- it is very trivially partially your fault, and mostly his.

As for having mixed feelings about liking it in the moment and not actually wanting it to happen- how long ago was this? I ask because if it was fairly recent, I think you should give it more time before thinking on it again and ultimately deciding your final feelings.

 

[emptywings]

As for having mixed feelings about liking it in the moment and not actually wanting it to happen- how long ago was this? I ask because if it was fairly recent, I think you should give it more time before thinking on it again and ultimately deciding your final feelings.

2 years):

 

[.idiot]

2 years):

Yeah, you've had a fair amount of time to decide then. If you are still in contact with this guy- cut contact with the freak immediately, and his other friends.

Thats rape, and illegal! If you dont feel too uncomfortable recounting everything you should get him in some kind of legal process, whether it be jail or court, you could get back at him. Beware if he has people on his side though

I really, really don't think this is a good idea.

Firstly- two years ago, as said. The only thing remaining here in terms of evidence is emptywings statement to the police- this guy friend of hers has his friends which will likely paint him in a positive light.

Second- two years, again- and it has likely been established among this guy's friendgroup that emptywings said yes. In which case, this will very likely end up with emptywings getting painted as "that crazy girl who totally enjoyed it then all of a sudden changed up tunes a couple years later and wants to ruin this perfectly innocent guy's life".

This will be fucking terrible for emptywings- permanently tarnished reputation where she lives, and maybe beyond given modern social media.

 

[emptywings]

Yeah, you've had a fair amount of time to decide then. If you are still in contact with this guy- cut contact with the freak immediately, and his other friends.



I really, really don't think this is a good idea.

Firstly- two years ago, as said. The only thing remaining here in terms of evidence is emptywings statement to the police- this guy friend of hers has his friends which will likely paint him in a positive light.

Second- two years, again- and it has likely been established among this guy's friendgroup that emptywings said yes. In which case, this will very likely end up with emptywings getting painted as "that crazy girl who totally enjoyed it then all of a sudden changed up tunes a couple years later and wants to ruin this perfectly innocent guy's life".

This will be fucking terrible for emptywings- permanently tarnished reputation where she lives, and maybe beyond given modern social media.

THIS IS SO TRUE,
i swear i was thinking the exact same shit back then. his friends kept hitting on me all the way up until i graduated, just cuz i'd been with that dude. i felt so fucking shitty and used. i kinda just pushed it outta my head cuz i knew i wasn't in the right headspace to really deal with it.

 

[.idiot]

THIS IS SO TRUE,
i swear i was thinking the exact same shit back then. his friends kept hitting on me all the way up until i graduated, just cuz i'd been with that dude. i felt so fucking shitty and used. i kinda just pushed it outta my head cuz i knew i wasn't in the right headspace to really deal with it.

Okay, yeah they were all shitheads then. Never your "friends"- they just you as an easy mark to score. I truly hope you have fully cut contact with these people.