Help I got a partner but I’m still in the closet and need advice

[TimeHasCome6]

Okay, first - I AHVE A FREAKING PARTNER! I told them I liked them a while back and they recently developed feelings for me and we recently stated dating. We are living for each other (meaning breakups could literally kill us lol)

The only thing is that they are one of three people I've come out to and that makes it hard to spend quality time with them or to go on an actual date. I'm thinking about coming out for them but I'm scared and I don't know if I'm really ready yet.

That have been really accepting about me not wanting to come out yet and are willing to wait, but I don't want to make them do that. It makes me feel guilty.

Do you guys think this is the right decision? Do you have any advice on how to come out or to clean the nerves that come with it? I want to be able to have them over without my roommates being weird about it and take them to a movie without fear that somebody I know picked the same showing

 

[harpy]

First I want to say that the decision should always be yours and not influenced by strangers who know close to nothing about that relationship, but as you probably already know that, here's my opinion. I also wouldn't want to make them wait so I would most probably come out. I don't have any answers to your other questions though, I'd figure just being brutally honest would probably do it.

 

[Zetsubou]

As a fellow queer person, my best advice is that you should come out whenever you feel that you are ready to do so, especially if you are living in a conservative leaning area. Good luck with your relationship!

 

[TimeHasCome6]

Thank you for the advice. I'll tell you just what happens (hopefully).

 

[TimeHasCome6]

Okay, they just broke up with me for thier old partner… kinda mentally breaking down. I think I might do it but I don't want to give them that kind of power…

 

[Sadbrains]

Okay, they just broke up with me for thier old partner… kinda mentally breaking down. I think I might do it but I don't want to give them that kind of power…

It does not sound like you've been together for long. I am not here to persuade you into any decision, for your life is yours but I think there is a positive to this and a little light (assuming I know very little about your situation so I'm going on what I know). If only 3 people know, and you were able to score one, I think that shows good chances for another partner in the future. I don't think someone is worth suffering over who is supposedly living for you, and then leaves you for someone else. So in my OPINION, yeah, don't give them that kind of power. You were contemplating coming out, which I know with me being trans, can be tough. You were getting close to accept extreme discomfort to be with someone. That alone shows a lot about your character, and quite frankly, they don't deserve that. Nor do they deserve being what pushes you over the edge.

 

[TimeHasCome6]

It does not sound like you've been together for long. I am not here to persuade you into any decision, for your life is yours but I think there is a positive to this and a little light (assuming I know very little about your situation so I'm going on what I know). If only 3 people know, and you were able to score one, I think that shows good chances for another partner in the future. I don't think someone is worth suffering over who is supposedly living for you, and then leaves you for someone else. So in my OPINION, yeah, don't give them that kind of power. You were contemplating coming out, which I know with me being trans, can be tough. You were getting close to accept extreme discomfort to be with someone. That alone shows a lot about your character, and quite frankly, they don't deserve that. Nor do they deserve being what pushes you over the edge.

Thank you for your kind words. I needed to read that. I honestly didn't know if anybody was found to see this.

On the point of only three people knowing, I hadn't thought of it that way. Thank you for changing my pint of view. And thank you for sharing your opinion. I don't take any offense to that.