I genuinely don't matter to others

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I always felt like I wasn't important to people. Even with others I was supposedly close with over the years, it felt like pulling teeth to have anything meaningful with them. And you might say like, okay that's indicative of you never having met the right people, and in theory I want to agree, but I'm 42 now and it's also been that way with ex-girlfriends and wives. Even in those committed/monogamous relationships, I always felt like I ranked somewhere in the 4-6th range, in terms of importance in their lives.

As such, I suppose the default/reddit advice would be to just hang back and not care, or wait for the mythical 'right' people to coming along, but that's not how I'm wired and it doesn't even feel realistic. I'd find it difficult to be that hands-off, and I've always had to do the running to get anything off the ground with other people. So it doesn't feel viable to sit back and chill, because experience has taught me that not putting myself out there yields absolutely nothing.

I'm not sure it even matters in the grand scheme of things, since it does feel like a relatively small issue typing it out, and yet it has definitely contributed to ideation throughout my life. It feels dumb and pick-me even writing about it, but I still always wanted to know what it was like to be someone's priority. To be that person that someone rushes home to talk to at the end of the day. I can honestly say I've never been that guy, for anyone.

I feel envious of people who have others gravitate towards them automatically, where the relationship feels reciprocal and healthy without anyone overextending themselves and coming off too try-hard. Hell, I'd even like to experience it on an UNhealthy level, where someone's overly into me and I can just be like "whatever man" lmao.

Anyone relate?

 

[EndlessRage]

I always felt like I wasn't important to people. Even with others I was supposedly close with over the years, it felt like pulling teeth to have anything meaningful with them. And you might say like, okay that's indicative of you never having met the right people, and in theory I want to agree, but I'm 42 now and it's also been that way with ex-girlfriends and wives. Even in those committed/monogamous relationships, I always felt like I ranked somewhere in the 4-6th range, in terms of importance in their lives.

As such, I suppose the default/reddit advice would be to just hang back and not care, or wait for the mythical 'right' people to coming along, but that's not how I'm wired and it doesn't even feel realistic. I'd find it difficult to be that hands-off, and I've always had to do the running to get anything off the ground with other people. So it doesn't feel viable to sit back and chill, because experience has taught me that not putting myself out there yields absolutely nothing.

I'm not sure it even matters in the grand scheme of things, since it does feel like a relatively small issue typing it out, and yet it has definitely contributed to ideation throughout my life. It feels dumb and pick-me even writing about it, but I still always wanted to know what it was like to be someone's priority. To be that person that someone rushes home to talk to at the end of the day. I can honestly say I've never been that guy, for anyone.

I feel envious of people who have others gravitate towards them automatically, where the relationship feels reciprocal and healthy without anyone overextending themselves and coming off too try-hard. Hell, I'd even like to experience it on an UNhealthy level, where someone's overly into me and I can just be like "whatever man" lmao.

Anyone relate?

I've also always felt like i am the only one making an effort in relationships to make them work, i avoid people in general but it would feel nice to have someone ''special'' who cares about you more then anything, i have just been mistreated by people too much that i don't have a desire to get their attention.

 

[spacefreightergirl]

It's crazy how I can read a post about someone that is a completely different person from me and lives in a place I've never been to but they still say something that I relate to so much :') You just described how I've felt about people and relationships my whole life

 

[EndlessRage]

It's crazy how I can read a post about someone that is a completely different person from me and lives in a place I've never been to but they still say something that I relate to so much :') You just described how I've felt about people and relationships my whole life

doubt, women have it way easier in relationships.