I know this site doesn't like pro-lifers. I'm not writing this to teach anyone how to live or to prove anything. It's everyone's personal choice, and I perfectly understand how tired you are of a world where you are constantly forced to something. I'm writing because I spent several years here myself in a state of the most severe depression. I wanted only one thing — to die or simply not to exist. I went so far that I even bought N from D in 2021. and was completely ready. i have it now in my fridge just in case. Fortunately i'm 56 and nobody in the family may ask me to throw it away. I can keep it freely.
But during my darkest period, I stumbled upon the phenomenon of near-death experiences (NDE). Studying it completely turned my worldview upside down and radically changed my life values. I watched a huge number of videos of people sharing their experiences of touching death (Sharon Stone's interview with Oprah Winfrey alone is incredible), and their words seemed incredibly encouraging to me.
The biggest revelation was Pim van Lommel's book, "Consciousness Beyond Life." This isn't religious literature. It's the work of a scientist who stands at the very forefront of science and explains his theory using biology, quantum physics, and genetics. Being a very well-educated person myself, I couldn't even imagine the things he describes there.
I'm writing here to share just one thought. I realized: God doesn't forbid suicide and doesn't punish for it. All this stigmatization of suicide is just a consequence of human flaws.
But our body is an unimaginably complex machine. And it is made exclusively so that your soul can develop in this world. By leaving early, without reaching your goal on Earth, you simply interrupt the learning process, destroying this incredible machine that was made for you. Nobody will punish a kid for breaking a toy. They will be glad to see you there in any circumstances. But you will feel sorry a bit.
I know that right now, the reasons pushing you to this step seem absolute, and the pain seems unbearable and consumes your entire world. I am in no way invalidating your feelings. But from the perspective that opened up to me, it's clear that there is a much larger reality. And in the scale of this huge, complex reality, your pain and your problems take on a different meaning. They stop being a dead end.
Read this book. I just hope that it might help someone the same way it helped me. Thank you for reading this long post.
But during my darkest period, I stumbled upon the phenomenon of near-death experiences (NDE). Studying it completely turned my worldview upside down and radically changed my life values. I watched a huge number of videos of people sharing their experiences of touching death (Sharon Stone's interview with Oprah Winfrey alone is incredible), and their words seemed incredibly encouraging to me.
The biggest revelation was Pim van Lommel's book, "Consciousness Beyond Life." This isn't religious literature. It's the work of a scientist who stands at the very forefront of science and explains his theory using biology, quantum physics, and genetics. Being a very well-educated person myself, I couldn't even imagine the things he describes there.
I'm writing here to share just one thought. I realized: God doesn't forbid suicide and doesn't punish for it. All this stigmatization of suicide is just a consequence of human flaws.
But our body is an unimaginably complex machine. And it is made exclusively so that your soul can develop in this world. By leaving early, without reaching your goal on Earth, you simply interrupt the learning process, destroying this incredible machine that was made for you. Nobody will punish a kid for breaking a toy. They will be glad to see you there in any circumstances. But you will feel sorry a bit.
I know that right now, the reasons pushing you to this step seem absolute, and the pain seems unbearable and consumes your entire world. I am in no way invalidating your feelings. But from the perspective that opened up to me, it's clear that there is a much larger reality. And in the scale of this huge, complex reality, your pain and your problems take on a different meaning. They stop being a dead end.
Read this book. I just hope that it might help someone the same way it helped me. Thank you for reading this long post.
