I finally ready to die

[FireFox]

My life was at an all time high in 2022 and for the first time I was looking forward to the future and no longer suicidal. I was 25 my life was beautifully coming together.

In Autumn I had the most amazing time in Venice then weeks later I gave my strongest ever interview performance when I came back to the UK. I got the job. The salary was great it was an increase from my last job.

I fell in love with an older man in his 50s because he just made me feel so special and it was great finally having a man see me while guys my own age ignored me and all my life I have been that girl now woman who never gets picked and always ignored and overlooked. Winter it was snowing in my city and across the UK. During my lunch break I took a stroll in the snow and it was so magical because my life was finally coming together and I was looking forward to the future. For the first time I wanted to live.

Christmas seasn I brought so many gifts for my family household with my work salary. The living room was full of presents I brought my family.

Then in 2023 it all came crashing down rapidly. I went from having the best year of my life to the worst year ever. January was stuck overseas being forced to see my relatives who dont even care about me and that month overseas was pure hell. The man Ioved who I wanted a future with kept messing with my head with his lying and mind games. He messed me up so badly. February I got fired. April my eating disorder gets discovered. The only good thing I had was getting into a masters programme and The last minute I was forced to defer my place which now I am going to lose this year.

I really wanted to live but it's obstacle after obstacle. I have been fighting to make things work out because I am not quitter now I can't fight anymore. At 27 I have nothing good in my life no husband, no successful career, no friends and I am just a loser

 

[rozeske]

You are not a loser. You are a fighter and a dedicated one at that. Don't let anyone make you believe otherwise. And don't let them tell you you are old with no chance. 27 is still young for all the plans you had, don't be discouraged, everyone has got their time table of life, try not to compare yours with the others. I know how you feel because I started feeling too old for anything when I was 24, only now I realize how that was ridiculous. It's mostly in our head this feeling too old for anything and not others perspective of us.