I relate so strongly. I used to do so well as a student - even though I was depressed, I was achieving at my potential and had a future ahead of me. Now that's all gone. Freshman year, I lived on the top story of a tall building with an external stairwell. I should have gone through with my plan to jump that one Wednesday evening when I had the chance. It would have prevented so much further suffering. But it turns out I'm a fucking coward.