Venting I feel very tired and lonely.

[caotic_realm]

Despite having a family and a home, I feel lonely. My family has its problems, but that's the least of it; I am simply tired of living. I've been thinking about suicide for years—I have no reason to go on. It's been even harder since my cat died a few years ago; that made me feel even worse, as if my own life had ended too. She died right on my chest...

I'm a NEET, so I'm a failure to society. I've never had a girlfriend; I have a couple of friends I talk to, but they have social issues just like me. However, I'm the only one who actually thinks about dying to put an end to this torment; for me, living is no longer about a mix of enjoyment and suffering—it's just suffering.

I'm sick of people; they disgust me. Their lies, their empty words, their beliefs. Not long ago, I saw an elderly man on social media saying he didn't believe in god because of war and evil; many people criticized his stance, calling him ignorant—when *they* are the ignorant ones. It's as if believing in something or having a particular interest made you a better person, or as if being born in a certain country made you a better human being... It's all garbage. That's why I'd rather be dead; the dead—and death itself—represent the ultimate fairness. There is no discrimination, no martyrdom, no vengeance, no false promises...

I want to die, and I don't have the damn courage to go through with it. I wish I could throw myself from somewhere high up and know I'm going to die, but I'm afraid of surviving—I'm afraid of the pain... I just want to die, dammit.

 

[HNR_]

So sorry for your loss...
Funny how a lot of your reasons are similar to stuff that happened to me throughout my life and even recently...people never reevaluate themselves or the way that leads them to think one way about people, even when it's fundamentally flawed

They're more-so issues I have with a bunch of people instead of a reason why I want to CTB, makes me feel more disillusioned than I already was too
Makes me hope that, if there's an afterlife, there's a way to filter out assholes as I can't conceive them suddenly becoming good people once they get there and even if they were, I wouldn't want to talk to them once they pass away

 

[lastappleonearth]

Despite having a family and a home, I feel lonely. My family has its problems, but that's the least of it; I am simply tired of living. I've been thinking about suicide for years—I have no reason to go on. It's been even harder since my cat died a few years ago; that made me feel even worse, as if my own life had ended too. She died right on my chest...

I'm a NEET, so I'm a failure to society. I've never had a girlfriend; I have a couple of friends I talk to, but they have social issues just like me. However, I'm the only one who actually thinks about dying to put an end to this torment; for me, living is no longer about a mix of enjoyment and suffering—it's just suffering.

I'm sick of people; they disgust me. Their lies, their empty words, their beliefs. Not long ago, I saw an elderly man on social media saying he didn't believe in god because of war and evil; many people criticized his stance, calling him ignorant—when *they* are the ignorant ones. It's as if believing in something or having a particular interest made you a better person, or as if being born in a certain country made you a better human being... It's all garbage. That's why I'd rather be dead; the dead—and death itself—represent the ultimate fairness. There is no discrimination, no martyrdom, no vengeance, no false promises...

I want to die, and I don't have the damn courage to go through with it. I wish I could throw myself from somewhere high up and know I'm going to die, but I'm afraid of surviving—I'm afraid of the pain... I just want to die, dammit.

I relate, it's exhausting, forces you to be chronically tired in way. For a long time it at least was a mix between suffering and enjoyment, like sometimes I still felt good, but now there's literally 0 enjoyment. Idk, how to push trough sth like this tbh. I'm sorry for your cat and I hope that it gets better for you, even if it doesn't seem like it at all rn