Venting I feel so horrible for my family

[acdef0]

I feel so bad for my family because they have to put up with me. Everyday I'm constantly ruining their lives and bringing everyone down with me because I'm pathetic and can't do anything for myself. I wouldn't be where I am today without my family, so I don't know why I'm always arguing with them and taking offense to their comments when they do everything for me.

I feel like the whinest person ever. Nothing is ever good enough for me. When I'm offered help for my problems, I always end up declining because we end up arguing. My family has to walk on eggshells around me because literally anything can set me off.

I sometimes imagine what people would say about me behind closed doors, and it hurts knowing it wouldn't be anything positive, but I did that to myself.

I know there's ways I can get better. I know I can get therapy or something, but it never seems to work and the waiting lists are just too long. I'm on antidepressants which don't do anything for me. I've been like this my whole life. I've always been argumentative and ungrateful and I don't even know why. I don't know anyone like me so I can't imagine what it's like to have to deal with a person like me.

 

[lastappleonearth]

I feel so bad for my family because they have to put up with me. Everyday I'm constantly ruining their lives and bringing everyone down with me because I'm pathetic and can't do anything for myself. I wouldn't be where I am today without my family, so I don't know why I'm always arguing with them and taking offense to their comments when they do everything for me.

I feel like the whinest person ever. Nothing is ever good enough for me. When I'm offered help for my problems, I always end up declining because we end up arguing. My family has to walk on eggshells around me because literally anything can set me off.

I sometimes imagine what people would say about me behind closed doors, and it hurts knowing it wouldn't be anything positive, but I did that to myself.

I know there's ways I can get better. I know I can get therapy or something, but it never seems to work and the waiting lists are just too long. I'm on antidepressants which don't do anything for me. I've been like this my whole life. I've always been argumentative and ungrateful and I don't even know why. I don't know anyone like me so I can't imagine what it's like to have to deal with a person like me.

I can relate to this in some ways, it's awful. The waiting lists for getting psychological help (especially an appointment with a psychiatrist) in my country are also extremely long, it's ridiculous tbh. Like most of them don't take in new patients anymore, because they're full or, if you get an appointment, you could wait up to 8 months. I hope you can get help somehow tho