imsotired005
Member
- Dec 25, 2024
- 25
Ive vented about this before but somehow when i think things dont get worse they do, i really wish i had open access to take my car to a place to get a nitrogen tank but my boyfriend has my location and would know in a heartbeat what was happening...
we ended up putting up cameras just to get him to stop accusing me...and it helped but he was showing me videos when one accidentally came up and it was a him and a girl doing things together that i dont even want to repeat, thing is he would have actively either had to do it while we weee together or actively choose to move the video from his old phone. he says every man has his "vault" that he thought he deleted everything. how is any of this fair he called me vulgar names accused me of cheating and did this. i know im stupid because everyone has told me from the start hes bad news and i still couldnt stop myself.
i really want to die ive been drinking nonstop just to numb it all i might shortly from now try to hang myself in the bedroom but i know i wont have the guts to do it.
this happens at a time where im not even taking care of myself anymore and know if i leave i will fall apart and kill myself anyways...i dont even want to die i just want to be free from my own life i want to be someone else i want a different beginning i want my dad to be alive so i can run and cry. im so tired.
we ended up putting up cameras just to get him to stop accusing me...and it helped but he was showing me videos when one accidentally came up and it was a him and a girl doing things together that i dont even want to repeat, thing is he would have actively either had to do it while we weee together or actively choose to move the video from his old phone. he says every man has his "vault" that he thought he deleted everything. how is any of this fair he called me vulgar names accused me of cheating and did this. i know im stupid because everyone has told me from the start hes bad news and i still couldnt stop myself.
i really want to die ive been drinking nonstop just to numb it all i might shortly from now try to hang myself in the bedroom but i know i wont have the guts to do it.
this happens at a time where im not even taking care of myself anymore and know if i leave i will fall apart and kill myself anyways...i dont even want to die i just want to be free from my own life i want to be someone else i want a different beginning i want my dad to be alive so i can run and cry. im so tired.
