Venting I feel like I've been the subject of a grand, psychopathic joke. (Vent)

[articspiral]

It's hard to describe how upset I am that out of this complex world, my life ended up being a agonizing waste of fucking time. I don't want to go into detail because I sincerely doubt anyone here of all places has a solution to my plethora of reasons for CTB-ing, but I just can't seem to swallow the fact that this is it. This is life. Out of the miraculous circumstances that life itself even emerged, this is all there is. If I don't end up CTB-ing I will work a 9-5 job for a faceless cooperation in an increasingly hostile and self-centered society until I am replaced by a robot and left to starve, and this is optimistic. If the nukes, or the microplastics, or the forever chemicals in our fucking rain that kill me first it's going to be by my hand I can finally rest from all of this. I genuinely don't see how anyone can look to the future and see something worth living for. I wish I could, I really do. But this is all there is. If any god happened to be watching over the world, he's a sadistic son of a bitch and all I can hope for is that I die, quietly, in my sleep before things get any worse.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah- I agree with you. I just can't get my head around how 'normies' see anything positive in the future. I have friends who have young children and I just hope they DO end up enjoying their lives. I don't understand why you would take such a big risk though- with someone else's life.

I don't know- maybe it is my pessimistic/ depressive brain chemistry. Still- even relatively positive people I know are still struggling in their lives.

 

[cassxtho]

For me personally, I am very passionate about computers and I want to play into improving them as much as possible in the future. I also like to workout, so I see it as a competition with myself every day. I'm also interested in business, so I want to start my own company one day when I have more experience with improving computers. I think it's the difference of not having a passion, once I retire or if I fail to reach my career goals I will CTB because to me then there will be no point in living. I empathize with you though, before I realized how passionate I am for computers and physics I felt the same way.

 

[FuneralCry]

This world certainly is such a hellish place and I view it as being such an unfortunate and cruel mistake how life even evolved in the first place. At least to me existence could never be worth it and I view it as being a curse having the ability to exist. Your feelings are very much understandable and I'm also always wishing to die in my sleep. The only thing that could ever appeal to me is the thought of permanently not existing, no amount of words could describe how much I despise being trapped in this world where there is no limit as to how much we can be tortured.

 

[articspiral]

For me personally, I am very passionate about computers and I want to play into improving them as much as possible in the future. I also like to workout, so I see it as a competition with myself every day. I'm also interested in business, so I want to start my own company one day when I have more experience with improving computers. I think it's the difference of not having a passion, once I retire or if I fail to reach my career goals I will CTB because to me then there will be no point in living. I empathize with you though, before I realized how passionate I am for computers and physics I felt the same way.

I am happy that one of us has something of a goal lined out for our lives. I wish you nothing but success in all of your endeavors.