Venting I feel like I’m going insane

[Xaphous]

I can relate but probably only I can relate to myself.

 

[Pan]

That you can relate, if only to yourself, tells me you will survive this feeling, and come out the other end...Remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Take care.

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

@Pan Im not taking any meds atm. My first therapist appointment that I've had in a while is in about two weeks. Thank you for the kindness and support. All I can say to the whole thing on gender is let's just treat everyone like humans. We all deserve respect. Equality for everyone is where it's at

 

[Pan]

I quite forgot to ask—-do you own a dog+? If not, and you can get one, then do it. These wondrous creature are remarkably intuitive, understand their owne's emotional Ned's and react quickly to bring balance. They ask only for love. If you can, GET A DOG.
Sorry for typos

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

I don't have a dog at my dorm but when I visit my parents they have a dog. I do love dogs. They are wonderful

 

[Pan]

@Pan Im not taking any meds atm. My first therapist appointment that I've had in a while is in about two weeks. Thank you for the kindness and support. All I can say to the whole thing on gender is let's just treat everyone like humans. We all deserve respect. Equality for everyone is where it's at

Sounds great. You're great. Equality is, after all, where it's at.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

It feels like I'm trapped here. Nowhere to go. The only option is to either prolong things or death. I feel like I'm living in a dream. The only way to wake up is to kill myself. (Little reference you a movie there if anyone gets it) I just want to wake up. I just feel like this isn't real. Like I'm not real. Almost like everything is a figment of my imagination. I feel like I'm going crazy. Can anyone else relate?

Yeah I definitely can relate to this and have even made a few threads about simulation theory and also enjoy shows like Westworld and the movie Inception; in that movie the "you are waiting for a train" scene is very motivating me to commit suicide because my life just feels like a dream or rather a nightmare I have no friends, suffer from about a dozen physical and mental problems and have extreme apathy and anhedonia I have now lived alone for over 1½ years where before I at least lived with my brother for 2 years so there was some social interaction now I only see family once in a while.

I am just hoping so badly that this simulation/dream etc. that is my existence will end as soon as I kill myself that I will just wake up as a happy little child again and all of this was nothing but a bad dream that would fade away later that same day. I also view my childhood as paradise or heaven on Earth I had tons of friends, hobbies, dreams, passions, hope, imagination, ignorance and naivete that made life so fun and exciting I enjoyed so many things and truly felt alive and felt all my emotions good and bad but mostly good. I just want to wake up from this neightmare and be a happy child again

Btw: I am sure you have already seen some simulation theory videos but in case you haven´t I can send them to you.

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

Yeah I definitely can relate to this and have even made a few threads about simulation theory and also enjoy shows like Westworld and the movie Inception; in that movie the "you are waiting for a train" scene is very motivating me to commit suicide because my life just feels like a dream or rather a nightmare I have no friends, suffer from about a dozen physical and mental problems and have extreme apathy and anhedonia I have now lived alone for over 1½ years where before I at least lived with my brother for 2 years so there was some social interaction now I only see family once in a while.

I am just hoping so badly that this simulation/dream etc. that is my existence will end as soon as I kill myself that I will just wake up as a happy little child again and all of this was nothing but a bad dream that would fade away later that same day. I also view my childhood as paradise or heaven on Earth I had tons of friends, hobbies, dreams, passions, hope, imagination, ignorance and naivete that made life so fun and exciting I enjoyed so many things and truly felt alive and felt all my emotions good and bad but mostly good. I just want to wake up from this neightmare and be a happy child again

Btw: I am sure you have already seen some simulation theory videos but in case you haven´t I can send them to you.

It made me so excited when you mentioned Inception because that is such a good movie and the one I was referencing! I'm sorry you feel this way. I've seen plenty of theories so thank you for the offer but I will politely decline. Life truly does feel like a dream and if everything is fake then I am so alone. I feel so alone sometimes when I'm in that mindset. I'm ready for this shit to be over. I just want to wake up so bad

(also that scene is super awesome and the whole movie is just so cool. I started smiling so wide when you mentioned it)

 

[keiichidono]

I secretly hope that after I die I'll wake up and there will be friends and family there to hold me and hug me and tell me what a bad dream I had and that everything will be okay. Life is too real for me, the pain is too real, mean hurtful people and too plentiful

 

[TheGoodGuy]

It made me so excited when you mentioned Inception because that is such a good movie and the one I was referencing! I'm sorry you feel this way. I've seen plenty of theories so thank you for the offer but I will politely decline. Life truly does feel like a dream and if everything is fake then I am so alone. I feel so alone sometimes when I'm in that mindset. I'm ready for this shit to be over. I just want to wake up so bad

(also that scene is super awesome and the whole movie is just so cool. I started smiling so wide when you mentioned it)

I´m actually glad I saw your thread because I had completely forgotten about Inception and especially the train scene I am glad to have watched and saved again because as I said it is a great motivator for suicide actually the whole movie is especially when I look what my life has become and it is particulary hard for me because as I mentioned my childhood was so amazing and I had exciting teenage years now every day is a struggle with all my physical and mental problems "life" just seems like a never ending dream and I want to wake up.

 

[Pan]

Yeah I definitely can relate to this and have even made a few threads about simulation theory and also enjoy shows like Westworld and the movie Inception; in that movie the "you are waiting for a train" scene is very motivating me to commit suicide because my life just feels like a dream or rather a nightmare I have no friends, suffer from about a dozen physical and mental problems and have extreme apathy and anhedonia I have now lived alone for over 1½ years where before I at least lived with my brother for 2 years so there was some social interaction now I only see family once in a while.

I am just hoping so badly that this simulation/dream etc. that is my existence will end as soon as I kill myself that I will just wake up as a happy little child again and all of this was nothing but a bad dream that would fade away later that same day. I also view my childhood as paradise or heaven on Earth I had tons of friends, hobbies, dreams, passions, hope, imagination, ignorance and naivete that made life so fun and exciting I enjoyed so many things and truly felt alive and felt all my emotions good and bad but mostly good. I just want to wake up from this neightmare and be a happy child
Btw: I am sure you have already seen some simulation theory videos but in case you haven´t I can send them to you.

What you are describing is related to dr. Robert Lanza's theory which involves the idea that the universe did not create you; you created the universe. When you cease to be, this reality is annihilated with your death. For Lanza death is, at least as he sees it, a theoretical impossibility. You will be you as you forever, basically. Square that idea with, say, the Hindu doctrine of reincarnation, and we see some interesting comparisons. For Lanza, at death you can start anywhere —. Back to your past present or future. There is a host of data on web about biocentrism. Check it out if you care to.

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

Haha we sure are getting into some conspiracy theoretical shit (this isn't a mockery I don't want anyone to be offended)

 

[TheGoodGuy]

What you are describing is related to dr. Robert Lanza's theory which involves the idea that the universe did not create you; you created the universe. When you cease to be, this reality is annihilated with your death. For Lanza death is, at least as he sees it, a theoretical impossibility. You will be you as you forever, basically. Square that idea with, say, the Hindu doctrine of reincarnation, and we see some interesting comparisons. For Lanza, at death you can start anywhere —. Back to your past present or future. There is a host of data on web about biocentrism. Check it out if you care to.

Just watched several videos on the topic it´s very interesting and makes a lot of sense.

 

[Pan]

Yes it does. Even Einstein dismissed the possibility of death. As for so called karma,we pay our dues in this life, not the next. We emerge after death refreshed and cleansed, ready to take on the whole process all over again. It gets better though, as we are stronger for the struggles we have endured in this life.

 

[BlackPoppet]

Yes it does. Even Einstein dismissed the possibility of death. As for so called karma,we pay our dues in this life, not the next. We emerge after death refreshed and cleansed, ready to take on the whole process all over again. It gets better though, as we are stronger for the struggles we have endured in this life.

How are you doing today @Pan

 

[Pan]

How are you doing today @Pan

I'm okay, pal. How about yourself?

 

[BlackPoppet]

I'm okay, pal. How about yourself?

Not too bad, but definitely not good. What have you been doing today?.

 

[Pan]

Let us say, for the sake of argument, that you suddenly ceased to exist. An entire universe would be destroyed. You are one of the pieces in this puzzle; you are intrinsic to the whole scheme. Without you, not only is the game over, it did'nt exist to begin with. Dr. Lanza constructed a gravestone; on it, he inscribed the following "HERE LIES ABSOLUTELY. NO ONE".

 

[BlackPoppet]

Let us say, for the sake of argument, that you suddenly ceased to exist. An entire universe would be destroyed. You are one of the pieces in this puzzle; you are intrinsic to the whole scheme. Without you, not only is the game over, it did'nt exist to begin with. Dr. Lanza constructed a gravestone; on it, he inscribed the following "HERE LIES ABSOLUTELY. NO ONE".

Dr Lanzas book sounds interesting! I might buy a copy!

I feel the exact same way. I know it's my brain dissociating to cope with the pain but it makes it impossible to do anything when nothing feels real. And impossible to know if you are making the right decision. Part of me is suicidal because I just want to die and end the pain and part of me thinks the same as you if I die I will actually just wake up from this dream.

Hugs from me to you

 

[Pan]

I secretly hope that after I die I'll wake up and there will be friends and family there to hold me and hug me and tell me what a bad dream I had and that everything will be okay. Life is too real for me, the pain is too real, mean hurtful people and too plentiful

When you speak of life being

I secretly hope that after I die I'll wake up and there will be friends and family there to hold me and hug me and tell me what a bad dream I had and that everything will be okay. Life is too real for me, the pain is too real, mean hurtful people and too plentiful

when you speak of life being a dream, you are closer to the truth than you know

 

[porfin1234]

I definitely relate. Since middle of last year nothing has felt real. The danger in that is I've done things with serious consequences for years to come. And now with more perspective on when things were simpler yet I was often having suicidal ideation for no real reason I feel even more like I've lived my life in delusion and not in touch with most people's reality around me. I think I've been disconnected for most of my life.

 

[Pan]

I'm okay, pal. How about yourself?

Thought i'd Drop you a post to see how things are going today. Got your post and I thank you for your concern. Are you feeling better, pal ? I hope so. If not, remember that this will go away. You FEEL like you are crazy; I get that, but feeling, friend and actually being are two different states entirely. I you were crazy, you wouldn't be communicating with me now. If I may ask , are you taking and meds? If so, do you mind telling me what they are? I have you in my thoughts—remember, we are all part of one family here at s.s. Take care and get back to me when you are able.best! The other

How are you doing today @Pan

Sorry black poppet that I missed your post. Hope you are o.k.

 

[Pan]

Haha we sure are getting into some conspiracy theoretical shit (this isn't a mockery I don't want anyone to be offended)

Thought I would touch base with you, Juliet to find out how you are doing. Is everything o.k. Or at least status quo? Your pal always. Pan

 

[Cleopatra123]

I feel for you, truly. I find myself just waiting to die,all the while knowing that if I don't action,
I won't die spontaneously.

If you live your life intensely then you have truly LIVED IT. Years, sometimes, feel like mere hours to the intense life, which is the only life, as far as I'm concerned. "Live freely, die young", I always say. I have lived the high life as I see it; it's time for curtain calls. There are
NO encores. Let me know one way or other, please.

I agree with you thoroughly about living life intensely, with passion. That makes is all the more poignant when we reach a time that, for various reasons, that is no longer possible. There's a difference with younger people who see no way forward. But, those who begin to have pale memories, know there are no encores. Tried to PM you for specific reason, but unable to. Cleopatra